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Band 6+: The graph below shows information about the percentage of female students on four different courses at one university from 1970 to 2015

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The image depicts a line graph with four lines representing the percentage of female students in different fields over time from 1970 to 2015; the x-axis represents the years at 5-year intervals, and the y-axis represents the percentage from 0 to 100 at 25% intervals. Computer science starts at ~35% in 1970, rises to ~40% in 1985, drops to ~20% in 2015. Physics starts at ~10% in 1970, rises to ~20% in 1985, continues to ~25% in 2015. Medicine starts at ~10% in 1970, steadily rises to ~55% in 2000, fluctuates, and ends at ~50% in 2015. Law begins at ~5% in 1970, sharply rises to ~45% in 1990, continues to ~55% in 2000, and fluctuates to ~50% in 2015.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The line graph illustrates the information about the proportion of woman students on four different courses: Computer science, physics, medicine and law at one university between 1970 and 2015.

Overall, law strated from the lowest figure but later it dramatically rose to the top of the chart while computer science started from the highest percentage then course dropped to the lowest point in the graph. Physic and medicine showed an increase throughout the whole period.

In 1970, law started from almost 10% , but then in 1975, the course soared and finally made the highest proportion in the graph with 100% in 2015. In contrast, women who attented computer science course began with around 30% and it rocketed to approximately 75% in 1990 but then it collapsed to nearly 35% in 2015.

Medicine started under 25% then slowly increased until 1985 then it jumped to around 65% and showed an increase until at the end of the period. Similarly, physic did not show any decrease , the course began from below 25% then experienced growth till 2015.

Word Count: 177

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

course: 4

graph: 3

computer: 3

science: 3

started: 3

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Task Response

The report addresses the task, but there are inaccuracies in the data reported and some issues with the overall structure and language. The overview is adequate but could be more comprehensive. The body paragraphs contain some inaccurate information and lack specific details. To improve, focus on accurately representing the data from the graph and providing more precise figures. Also, ensure a clearer structure with well-developed paragraphs.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an adequate attempt to organize information, but there are instances where the flow of ideas could be smoother. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be improved to enhance coherence. For example, the shift from the overall trends to the specific details in the second and third paragraphs feels somewhat abrupt. Consider using transitional phrases to link ideas more effectively. Also, paragraphing could be improved by grouping related information more logically.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a reasonable range of vocabulary, but there are opportunities to enhance the precision and sophistication of word choice. For instance, while words like 'rose,' 'dropped,' and 'increased' are used, exploring synonyms could add depth to the description. Additionally, be cautious about using informal language or exaggerations, such as stating law reached '100%' when the graph indicates approximately 50-55%. Focus on accuracy and nuance in vocabulary to convey information effectively.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains grammatical errors that affect clarity. For example, subject-verb agreement errors ('law strated') and incorrect tense usage are present. Sentence structure is generally simple, and while understandable, it lacks complexity. To improve, focus on proofreading for common errors and practice using a wider range of sentence structures, including complex sentences, to express relationships between ideas more effectively.

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