Positive And Negative

Band 4+: TASK 2: Many people put their personal information online (address, telephone number, and etc.) for purposes such as signing up for social networks or online banking. Is this a positive or negative development?

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Now a days putting personal information online on social media is a common thing. In recent time, lots of website ask about your personal information. Its completely negative development because it put Individuals life in risk. I will discuss this negative development in this essay with appropriate conclusion.

Firstly, Individuals life connecting with social network like online banking when we open the application it asked about our name, age, birthdate or address. Sometimes when we open the application they send a message or link and OTP and do fraud with our bank account. For an instance, my mother open one advertisement link and then she got blank or spam calls from another country. When she tells us about the spam calls I went to bank and stop her all transactions. I also transfer her money in my account.

Secondly, nowadays, fraud company gives you a message that you won this certain amount please send OTP or check link when we click the link they hacked our account and also save our personal information. For example, our bank detail or google pay or phone pay password.

Thirdly, old age people did not have knowledge to use android phones. They share their Adhar card or Pan card number on fraud website or application. Old age people do not have phone pay or google pay knowledge so they share their password with any spam calls.

In conclusion, I firmly believe that use of online banking has more negative development then positive. Government have to organize free seminar for how to use social network. Government have to start special training for old age people. Government have to share awareness message and advertisement on television as well as social media.

Word Count: 285

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

social: 4

personal: 3

information: 3

online: 3

about: 3

negative: 3

development: 3

application: 3

message: 3

fraud: 3

people: 3

share: 3

government: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt and presents a position. However, the ideas lack clarity and could be more developed. The examples provided are somewhat relevant but could be more specific and directly linked to the argument. To improve, focus on providing clearer explanations and more detailed examples to support your points. Also, consider structuring your ideas more logically and ensuring each paragraph focuses on a single, well-developed argument.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay's structure is somewhat discernible, but the progression of ideas is often unclear. Paragraphing is present, but the connections between paragraphs are weak. The introduction and conclusion are basic and lack sophistication. To improve coherence, focus on creating clearer transitions between sentences and paragraphs, and ensure that each paragraph has a central idea that is well-developed and logically connected to the overall argument.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is limited and often inaccurate, which affects the clarity of the writing. There is a lack of precision in word choice, and some words are used inappropriately. To enhance lexical resource, try to use a wider range of vocabulary and pay attention to the correct usage of words in context. Consider using a thesaurus to find synonyms, but always ensure that the chosen word fits the meaning and tone of the sentence. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and improper use of articles and prepositions. Sentence structure is often awkward and unclear. To improve grammatical range and accuracy, focus on mastering basic grammar rules and sentence structures. Practice writing simple sentences and gradually incorporate more complex structures as your confidence grows. Review your work carefully for errors, and consider seeking feedback from a language tutor or using grammar-checking tools.

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