Letter

Band 4+: You are planning a team-building event for your department at work and need to make arrangements with a local adventure company. Write a letter to the adventure company outlining your needs and requesting information. You should include details about: -the number of participants and their preferences -possible dates and times for the event -catering options and costs involved.

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Dear arei adventure

I hope this letter find you well

Hello my name is hari, I write this letter to book a guidance and coordination from your adventure company for team-building at my current department

My department have a plan to take adventure activity on next week, and approximately about ten people including me to join the activity

About the adventure activity , we like to hiking, rock climbing or kayaking, but if necessary we will chosee two activities

I write this letter to your company because I know your company can arrangement about the cost or any available packages. If you want any further information , please feel free to contact me at 082151236999 or juki@gmail.com

Thank you for you attention and your time, I

Word Count: 126

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

letter: 3

adventure: 3

company: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter addresses all the requirements of the task, including the number of attendees, preferred activities, and inquiries about cost and packages. However, there are some minor omissions, such as not specifying the preferred date. To improve, ensure all details are explicitly mentioned and the tone is consistently professional. The letter falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter's organization is somewhat unclear, and the flow of information is disjointed. To improve coherence, use more explicit transitions between ideas and ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main point. For example, dedicate a paragraph to introducing the event, another to detailing the activities, and a final one to inquiries about cost and packages. Clear paragraphing and transitional phrases will help guide the reader through your letter more effectively.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and lacks the precision needed for a formal letter. To enhance your lexical resource, try to incorporate more specific and varied vocabulary related to adventure activities and event planning. For instance, instead of 'take adventure activity,' you could say 'participate in adventurous excursions' or 'engage in team-building activities.' Using a wider range of vocabulary will make your letter sound more professional and engaging.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Focus on improving sentence structure, verb tense consistency, and correct use of articles and prepositions. For example, 'I hope this letter find you well' should be 'I hope this letter finds you well,' and 'My department have a plan' should be 'My department has a plan.' Proofreading carefully and focusing on basic grammar rules will significantly improve the accuracy of your writing.

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