Letter

Band 6+: You recently purchased an electronic device from an online store, but it arrived damaged. You have contacted the store's customer service, but the issue remains unresolved. Write a letter to the manager of the online store explaining the problem. You should include details about: - The specifics of the damage to the device - What steps you have already taken to resolve the issue - What action you expect them to take to fix the situation

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Hello Sir/Madam,

I am writing this letter to you with regards to the electronic device I purchased from your online shop one month ago, which unfortunately arrived home damaged already.

Firstly, after all negociations with your online employees was done and payment made, I was assured that I will be in possession of my brand new device in two days time. The stated day was respected for I received my package thanks to one of your delivery agent. Few minutes to receiving the gadget, I tried to turn it on without success.

Without wasting time, I immediately reached out to your customer service explaining my predicament which was in vain for they told me the phone was in tact prior to it getting dispatched. Consequently, I took the device to a nearby phone repairer who told me the phone is damaged.

All the electronic devices I have purchased from your store in the past years have been of good quality and I never for once doubted your services, please do not let me down this time around. I will really appreciate if the situation is remedied by taking the damaged phone and replacing it with a functional one.

Your customer,

Fukum Shabu.

Word Count: 202

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

phone: 4

device: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter adequately addresses the task by explaining the problem, detailing the damage, outlining steps taken, and stating the desired action. There are some minor lapses in clarity and coherence, particularly in sentence structure and word choice. To improve, focus on using more precise language and ensuring smoother transitions between ideas. For example, clarify the type of electronic device and provide more specific details about the damage. Also, proofread carefully to eliminate grammatical errors.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter is generally coherent, but the flow could be improved with better transitions between ideas. Paragraphing is adequate, but consider breaking up longer paragraphs for better readability. For example, the paragraph detailing the delivery and subsequent issues could be split into two.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, but there are opportunities to use more precise and varied language. For instance, instead of 'online employees,' you could say 'customer service representatives.' Varying your word choice can make the letter more engaging and demonstrate a broader command of the English language.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter contains several grammatical errors and awkward phrasing that affect clarity. For example, 'after all negociations with your online employees was done' is grammatically incorrect and unclear. Focus on using correct verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and clearer sentence structures. Proofreading carefully before submitting can help catch these errors.

Write a letter to the company. In your letter: explain what you bought and when you received it describe the problem with the product say what action you would like the company to take

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