Opinion

Band 4+: To what extent do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is more important to spend time with family and friends than to focus on career advancement.

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This is extremly crucial tospend time with family and friends than to focus on career advancement. and friends than to focus on career advancement.

I fully agree with firstly focus to spend time with family and friends than to focus on career advancement.Because if the person spent the time wih family or freinds.It is very important for best career.In addition the family support the person on career advancement, so this reason firstly spent a time with parents and friends this reason is very important.For example, if a person spent a time with faher and his father is a superb business man so this idea is very crucial for the person so this bussiness man son also want to staert own bussiness so this is a good career advancement.On the oter hand the body want to start own bussiness and he have do not spent a time with family or with good freinds so may do not move his bissiness because lack of family support or good ideas so this reason is firstly important to spent a time with parents and with friends.

Secendly, good career is also important but the good carrer come from the spent of time with good friends as well as, with family such aa brothers, sisters etc.To illustrate, once a time friend reccomend with me to start a clothes bussiness i sad ok.So this business start from with i spent a time with good feiend so now a day this bussiness is move fast so this reason to invest a time with faimly and with freinds is very important.

At the end firstly invest a time with family and friens then focus for good career this is very important.

Word Count: 283

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

family: 8

career: 7

spent: 7

friends: 5

focus: 5

bussiness: 5

firstly: 4

person: 4

important: 4

reason: 4

start: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt and presents a position, but the development of ideas is limited and lacks clarity. The examples provided are not fully developed and the reasoning is sometimes unclear. To improve, focus on providing more specific and detailed examples to support your points. Also, ensure that your ideas are logically connected and clearly explained.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay lacks clear organization and logical flow. The ideas are not well-connected, and the arguments are difficult to follow. Paragraphing is weak, and transitions between ideas are abrupt. To improve coherence and cohesion, focus on structuring your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Use transition words and phrases to connect ideas and ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and supporting details.

Lexical Resource

The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary, with frequent repetition of words and phrases. The language used is often basic and lacks precision. To enhance lexical resource, try to use a wider variety of vocabulary and explore synonyms to express your ideas more accurately. Focus on learning and incorporating more sophisticated and nuanced language. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and improper sentence structure. These errors significantly impede understanding. To improve grammatical range and accuracy, focus on mastering basic grammar rules and practicing sentence construction. Review and correct errors in your writing, and seek feedback from others to identify areas for improvement.

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Band 4+: To what extent do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is more important to spend time with family and friends than to focus on career advancement.

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Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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To what extent do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is more important to spend time with family and friends than to focus on career advancement.

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To what extent do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is more important to spend time with family and friends than to focus on career advancement.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is more important to spend time with family and friends than to focus on career advancement.

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Check Your Own Essay On This Topic?

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