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Letter

Band 7+: You recently purchased a mobile phone from an online store, but it arrived with a cracked screen and a faulty battery. Write a letter to the customer service department of the online store complaining about the damaged phone. You should include details about: - The date you purchased the phone and order number - Describe the damage to the phone and its faulty battery - What action you expect them to take (e.g., a refund or a replacement)

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Note: Both the topic and the answer were created by one of our users.

Dear Madam or Sir,

I am writing this letter to formally express my dissatisfaction regarding my latest online purchase from your retail store.

On the 20th of February, I bought an Iphone 17 Pro Max with 512 GB storage in deep blue color. However, when the mobile phone got delivered yesterday, as I was unboxing it, I was shocked to see that the phone had a cracked screen. In addtion, the phone doesn’t even turn on when I try to press the power button at the side. At first I thought, it was due to its battery being drained so I tried to charge it for awhile. But even after charging it for 30 minutes, the phone doesn’t turn on at all. I was deeply disappointed with the product that your store had delivered knowing that you have tons of good review online.

I tried to contact your customer service yesterday, but I was unable to reach anyone. I kindly request a replacement of the mobile phone I ordered with the same unit as described above immediately. Hopefully, this time the mobile phone will be in perfect condition and brand new. May the replacement be delivered at the same address not later than Wednesday this week. In any instance that the unit of the mobile phone I ordered is not replaced within the specified date, may I then request a refund.

Attached to this letter is the invoice sent to my email and photos as well as videos of the defective movile phone. Please do contact me at 02092001 or in my email for further inquiries. I will be looking forward to your response. I hope to hear from you soon.

Best regards,

Cherry

Word Count: 284

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Overall Band Score

7.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

phone: 8

mobile: 4

delivered: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

9

The letter appropriately satisfies the requirements of the task. There are no omissions or lapses. The letter is well-organized, clearly describes the problem, explains the troubleshooting steps taken, and states the desired action. The tone is appropriate and professional.

Coherence & Cohesion

7

The letter is well-organized and easy to follow. The purpose of the letter is immediately clear, and each paragraph logically progresses the message. The use of cohesive devices is generally effective, though there are a few instances where transitions could be smoother to enhance the flow.

Lexical Resource

7

The letter demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, appropriate for the task. There are some instances where more precise word choices could elevate the writing, but overall, the vocabulary is effectively used to convey the message.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

7

The letter exhibits a good command of grammar with a variety of sentence structures. While there are a few minor errors, they do not significantly impede understanding. A thorough review for accuracy would further strengthen the letter.

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