Letter

Band 4+: You are unhappy with a new mobile phone you recently bought from a local electronics store. Write a letter to the store manager to complain about the phone. You should include details about: - what the problem with the phone is - what you have already done to try to resolve the problem - what action you would like the store to take.

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Respected sir,

I write this letter for inform an essential mistake from your shop. I hope that you will clear my problm after you received this complaint letter.

A couple of days before i purchased a brand new i phone 17 pro from your store. But since in bought the product it is not working.

I checked and explore all features in i phone 17 pro in the demo piece in your store. Afterwards i choose the light orange colour. But i didnt unbox the phone in that time, because i already checked in the features in the demo phone. So i wished to unbox new piece infront my parent in my home. Unfortunately the phone isn’t work. Furthermore my brother again checked, he is a computer engineer and phone enthusiast.. But the result was negative.

I hope that you will deal with this issue otherwise replaced the product. Kindly reply me soon as possible and iam waiting for your positive response

Respectfully

Word Count: 163

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

phone: 6

checked: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter addresses the task by complaining about a faulty phone and including details about the problems, attempts to resolve the issue, and desired resolution. However, the language contains errors, and the content could be more detailed and specific to fully meet the requirements of the task. To improve, focus on providing more concrete details about the phone's problems and proofreading for grammatical accuracy.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter's organization is somewhat unclear, and the flow of information is disrupted by grammatical errors. To improve coherence, focus on creating a clearer structure with well-defined paragraphs. Each paragraph should address a specific point, such as the purchase details, the problems encountered, and the desired resolution. Using transitional phrases can also help to connect ideas and improve the overall flow of the letter.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and lacks the precision needed to effectively convey the issues with the phone. To enhance your lexical resource, try to incorporate more specific and descriptive words related to the phone's malfunction. For example, instead of saying 'it is not working,' you could describe the specific issues, such as 'the screen flickers intermittently' or 'the phone shuts down unexpectedly.' Using a wider range of vocabulary will make your letter more informative and persuasive.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter contains several grammatical errors that impede understanding. Focus on improving your sentence structure, verb tense consistency, and correct use of articles and prepositions. For example, 'I write this letter for inform' should be 'I am writing this letter to inform.' Reviewing basic grammar rules and practicing sentence construction will help improve the accuracy and clarity of your writing.

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