Letter

Band 6+: You recently took a tour organized by a local travel company. Unfortunately, you were very disappointed with the experience. Write a letter to the travel company manager. In your letter: - Explain what tour you took and when. - Describe what aspects of the tour were unsatisfactory. - Suggest what the company can do to improve their tours.

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Dear Sir/Madam,

I am writing to complain about the recent experience we got after using your service. I would like to explain the situation in detail.

Firstly, the restaurant that we have been to was not expected. At first, we thought that we will go to the famous local restaurant. In fact, we just went to KFC. It made me feel not excited because it is a common restaurant at my country. As a result, I felt very disappointed.

Secondly, the preliminary agreement said that all the cost already include all the facilities. But, there are some additional costs for the museum. This situation is unacceptable because I paid a high price for this trip.

Therefore, I would like to request a refund and a replacement. I believe that is a reasonable solution for the problem.

I hope you take this matter seriously and resolve the problem as soon as possible. I look forward for your response.

Yours sincerely,

Budi

Word Count: 160

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

restaurant: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter addresses the task requirements by explaining the tour taken, describing the disappointing aspects, and suggesting improvements. However, the tone is more demanding than apologetic, and the suggestion for improvement is implicit rather than explicit. The letter could be improved by providing a clearer and more specific suggestion for how the tour company could improve its tours and by adopting a more polite and apologetic tone.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter is generally coherent and logically organized, but there are some areas where the flow could be improved. The introduction clearly states the purpose of the letter. The body paragraphs each focus on a specific complaint, which aids in clarity. Transitions between sentences and ideas could be smoother to enhance the overall coherence. For example, in the second paragraph, the transition to the additional costs at the museum could be more clearly linked to the initial disappointment with the restaurant. Consider using more varied cohesive devices to connect ideas and improve the flow of the letter.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, but there is room for improvement in terms of variety and precision. The language is generally straightforward, but some phrases could be more specific and impactful. For instance, instead of saying 'not excited,' you could use more descriptive words like 'underwhelmed' or 'disheartened.' Similarly, 'a high price' could be replaced with a more specific amount or a phrase like 'a premium price.' Expanding your range of vocabulary and using more precise language will enhance the overall quality of your writing.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter demonstrates a fair range of grammatical structures, but there are noticeable errors that affect clarity. For example, 'the restaurant that we have been to was not expected' could be rephrased for better clarity and grammatical correctness. Additionally, ensure subject-verb agreement and correct tense usage throughout the letter. Proofreading carefully for these types of errors will improve the grammatical accuracy and overall effectiveness of your writing.

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