Opinion

Band 5+: Write about the following topic: In the last decade, there has been a great increase in global air travel. What do you think are the reasons for this and do you think it is a good thing?

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Use of international airways have been greatly increased in the last ten years. This surge in use of airplanes has been due to globalization, where different countries trade with each other through airways. This essay will state the reason for this trend which is affordable travelling cost and this is a positive development.

First and foremost, plane tickets are cheap and affordable nowdays. Furthermore, households with low income can also travell through air, where tickets are cheaper in economy class of the airbus; they can either travell for work or visit new places. Research has shown that there is an increase in number of travelling through air, due to the rise in number of travellers and companies making budget airlines. This demonstrates that cheap tickets are the rapid rise in global air travel.

As a result, many employment oppurtinities are generated. With the decrease in price of tickets, citizens from developing countries can travel to foreign nations; which can increase the number of jobs available all over the world. In Nepal, many individuals travell to Arab countries for employment oppurtinities, where tickets are cheap nowadays, as a result many people get employed and earn good money that helps their family. This illustrates that increase in use airways is a positive development.

To conclude, plane tickets are affordable due to the increase in use of aeroplanes, where even low income families can afford to travel in airlines. In addition, this is a good thing because many people will be employed and earn money outside their country. give ratine be brutal honest mark according to ielts marking process

Word Count: 266

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

tickets: 6

where: 4

increase: 4

airways: 3

countries: 3

through: 3

affordable: 3

cheap: 3

travell: 3

number: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses both parts of the prompt: it identifies a reason for the increase in air travel (affordability) and provides an opinion on whether it is a positive development. A clear position is maintained throughout the response. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. The first body paragraph focuses heavily on the existence of budget airlines but could more deeply explore the connection between globalization and air travel mentioned in the introduction. The second body paragraph links cheap travel to employment opportunities, which is a relevant point, but the logical connection between 'increased air travel' and 'global job availability' could be more clearly articulated to avoid being overly simplistic. To improve, try to expand on your ideas with more depth. Instead of just stating that tickets are cheap, explain *how* the rise of low-cost carriers has fundamentally changed consumer behavior. Additionally, ensure that your supporting examples are more robustly linked to your main arguments. Finally, pay attention to spelling (e.g., 'oppurtinities', 'travell', 'nowdays') and grammatical precision to ensure the flow of ideas is not interrupted by technical errors.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay follows a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the progression of ideas is sometimes repetitive. For instance, the idea of 'cheap tickets' is mentioned multiple times without adding new depth to the argument. To improve, use a wider variety of cohesive devices (e.g., 'Consequently', 'In addition to this', 'From an economic perspective') and ensure that each paragraph introduces a distinct supporting point rather than circling back to the same concept.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is functional but limited and repetitive. Words like 'cheap', 'travel', and 'increase' are used frequently. To reach a higher band, aim for more sophisticated synonyms and collocations. For example, instead of 'cheap tickets', you could use 'budget-friendly fares' or 'economical air travel'. Instead of 'good money', use 'competitive wages' or 'substantial income'. Additionally, be careful with spelling errors such as 'oppurtinities' and 'travell'. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There are several grammatical inaccuracies that affect the flow of the text. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'Use of international airways have been' should be 'has been'), incorrect word forms (e.g., 'cheap tickets are the rapid rise' is logically and grammatically flawed), and punctuation errors (e.g., the use of semicolons). Try to incorporate a mix of complex sentence structures, such as conditional sentences (If/Unless) and relative clauses, while ensuring that basic tense consistency is maintained throughout.

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