Positive And Negative

Band 4+: You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

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The reason why there is decline in the population in the countryside is because individuals are moving to the cities, and this is found worldwide.

In my opinion, this can not be a good development because what they are leaving behind is one of the key areas of development.

Taking care of the agriculture also can be developed. If they remained in the countryside, they will be able to develop the agriculture and help the rest of their country prosper. There is huge percentage of the economy that depends on the cultivation of the crops. Many countries pay a huge attention to the crops they produce, and try to invent new ways and techniques to help produce more crops with very high quality. But, I completely understand why would they leave the countryside and go to cities, and thats because there are more job opportunities and a good salaries, which is very logical, but they did not realize the importance of the land that they left behind. This land provide crops for many people, which is without it we will not be able to live. As the population grow on size the more food will be required, and that give the people that live in the countryside more work to do and they will have more responsability.

I am doing masters at the moment in biotechnology. I am working on tomato plant trying to find ways to protect it from pests and pesticides because tomato is economical plant. This will give farmers to have better yield. If they left and went to cities everything will collapse.

Word Count: 266

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

countryside: 4

because: 4

crops: 4

there: 3

cities: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear position: that rural depopulation is a negative development. However, the development of ideas is limited. While the writer identifies agriculture as a key sector, the arguments are somewhat repetitive and lack the depth required for a higher score. The connection between the movement to cities and the potential collapse of the food supply is stated but not fully explored through logical progression. To improve, the writer should: 1. Structure the essay more formally with distinct body paragraphs (e.g., one paragraph focusing on the economic impact of losing agricultural workers and another on the social/infrastructure challenges in cities or the loss of rural culture). 2. Expand on the 'negative' aspects more broadly; for example, discussing the pressure on urban infrastructure (housing, transport, pollution) caused by rapid migration. 3. Ensure that personal examples (like the biotechnology research) are integrated more smoothly into a general argument rather than appearing as a separate, somewhat disconnected anecdote. 4. Work on grammatical precision and sentence structure to ensure ideas flow more logically.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay follows a basic structure, but the progression of ideas is somewhat disjointed. The transition between the importance of agriculture and the reasons for migration is a bit abrupt. To improve, use more formal cohesive devices (e.g., 'Furthermore', 'Consequently', 'On the other hand') to link your arguments. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic sentence to guide the reader through your logic.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is functional but quite basic and repetitive (e.g., using 'crops' and 'develop' multiple times). There is an attempt to use topic-specific language like 'biotechnology' and 'yield', which is good, but the range is limited. Try to incorporate more academic synonyms. For example, instead of 'good salaries', use 'competitive remuneration'; instead of 'huge percentage', use 'a significant proportion'. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally hinder the flow of reading. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'This land provide' should be 'provides', 'population grow' should be 'grows'), article usage, and sentence structure (e.g., 'which is without it we will not be able to live'). Work on mastering complex sentence structures and ensuring that your verb tenses remain consistent, especially when discussing hypothetical situations (conditionals).

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Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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Check Your Own Essay On This Topic?

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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