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Band 6+: In some schools and universities, girls tend to choose arts subjects (e.g. literature), and boys tend to choose science subjects (e.g. physics). Why do you think this is so? Should this tendency be changed?

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In many educational systems, the majority of girls are inclined to study arts fields such as languages and paintings, while males choose science subjects like maths, chemistry and physics. I think it is due to humans’ brain functions and natural reflection to the outside world. Generally, I strongly believe that this tendency should not be altered.

Although there is a difference between genders when it comes to having interests in different subjects, it is totally normal and there are two reasons. First and foremost, our brain functions. Mostly, for boys, the prefrontal cortex is responsible for what they want to study. It is responsible for logical and critical thinking. However, for girls, the left hemisphere and amygdala respond to emotional reasons. Therefore, girls and boys tend to choose contrasting subjects.

Moreover, the reason why boys are interested in science fields, but females tend to learn arts, is because of our natural response to extrinsic trends and traditions. Conventionally, girls are mostly delicate, polite and emotionally vulnerable. Plus, many families try to foster their girls’ emotional intelligence and creative skills. As a result of which, females are mostly best at languages, paintings and writing. On the other hand, if they have boys, their family members, fathers in particular, may encourage children’s physicality and logical thinking. In the long run, boys usually reflect calculating, engineering and real-life skills.

However, I think this tendency is completely normal and should not be changed, only because everybody has their own path and biologically girls can learn arts faster, while boys usually have a superiority for science. Apart from that, this tendency is encouraged conventionally. If this trend changed, girls and boys would show academic excellence only because of brain functions. For maintaining peak academic performance, this tendency should not be modified.

Despite there is a difference between genders’ interests, I believe the tendency of learning and choosing subjects is normal not only conventionally, but also because of brain functions.

Word Count: 324

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

girls: 6

tendency: 5

brain: 4

functions: 4

because: 4

science: 3

subjects: 3

should: 3

there: 3

normal: 3

mostly: 3

conventionally: 3

their: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt by discussing reasons for the tendency and stating a clear position that it should not be changed. However, the development of ideas lacks precision and depth. The reasons provided (brain functions and natural response to traditions) are relevant but are not fully explained or supported with specific examples or evidence. The position is clear, but the argument could be more nuanced and better structured. To improve, focus on providing more detailed explanations and concrete examples for each reason, and consider addressing potential counterarguments to strengthen the overall argument.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The main ideas are presented logically, and the use of cohesive devices like 'first and foremost', 'moreover', and 'however' helps guide the reader. However, some paragraphs could be more tightly focused, and the conclusion largely repeats earlier points without adding new insight. To improve, ensure each paragraph develops a single clear idea and use a wider range of linking phrases to enhance flow.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is generally appropriate and includes some good academic terms such as 'prefrontal cortex', 'extrinsic trends', and 'academic excellence'. There is evidence of flexibility, but some phrases are repetitive (e.g., 'tendency', 'brain functions') and a few word choices are slightly awkward (e.g., 'natural reflection to the outside world'). To improve, aim for more precise and varied vocabulary, and avoid overusing the same key terms. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay demonstrates a good range of sentence structures, including complex sentences and conditional forms. There are only minor errors, such as 'Despite there is' (should be 'Despite there being' or 'Although there is') and occasional awkward phrasing. Punctuation is generally correct. To reach a higher band, work on eliminating these small errors and ensure all complex structures are used accurately and naturally.

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Band 6+: In some schools and universities, girls tend to choose arts subjects (e.g. literature), and boys tend to choose science subjects (e.g. physics). Why do you think this is so? Should this tendency be changed?

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In some schools and universities, girls tend to choose arts subjects (e.g. literature), and boys tend to choose science subjects (e.g. physics). Why do you think this is so? Should this tendency be changed?

In some schools and universities, girls tend to choose arts subjects (e.g. literature), and boys tend to choose science subjects (e.g. physics). Why do you think this is so? Should this tendency be changed?

In some schools and universities, girls tend to choose arts subjects (e.g. literature), and boys tend to choose science subjects (e.g. physics). Why do you think this is so? Should this tendency be changed?

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