Process Diagram

Band 7+: Summarise the information by selecting and reporting main features, and make comparison where relevant

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Image for topic: Summarise the information by selecting and reporting main features, and make comparison where relevant

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The image depicts a process involving catching fish, transporting them via boat to a port, proceeding to a freezing stage, followed by a thaw; post-thaw, the fish are submerged in a mixture of salt water and yellow coloring before being cut open, then immersed in fresh water, smoked, and subsequently frozen at 0°C; the fish are stored cold, distributed, and finally delivered to a fish store.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The diagram illustrates the way in which the smoked fish is produced. Overall, the process consists of thirteen stages, which can be categorized into three main phases: catching, refining, and distribution.

The first stage begins by using a net to catch fish. Then, the caught fish are delivered to port using boats. There, the fish are frozen and put into boxes. In the following stage, the frozen fish are thawed and put into fresh water to clean. The cleaned fish are then cut open, and inedible parts are removed. After that, the fish are soaked in salt water, which contains yellow coloring.

Once the soaking process has finished, the fish are smoked on the grill. After the smoking process, the smoked fish are packaged in boxes, which are then frozen. Frozen packages are placed into the cold store before being distributed to the fish stores, where ready-made fish are sold.

Word Count: 150

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Overall Band Score

7.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

which: 4

frozen: 4

smoked: 3

process: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report adequately covers the process of producing smoked fish, presenting a clear overview and detailing the key stages. The organization into catching, refining, and distribution phases is a good approach. However, there's room for improvement in providing more specific details about each stage and ensuring all stages are mentioned. To improve, focus on including more precise information and ensuring comprehensive coverage of the entire process.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally well-organized with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. The process is described in a logical sequence, and the use of cohesive devices like 'then,' 'after that,' and 'once' helps to guide the reader through the different stages. However, the categorization into three main phases (catching, refining, and distribution) could be more explicitly linked to the subsequent description of the stages. Consider adding transition sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to clearly signal which phase is being discussed.

Lexical Resource

The report demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary to describe the process. Terms like 'thawed,' 'soaked,' and 'distributed' are used appropriately. However, there's room to enhance the vocabulary by using more specific or technical terms related to fish processing. For example, instead of 'inedible parts,' you could use a more precise term if you knew it. Also, consider using synonyms to avoid repetition, such as varying how you refer to 'packaged in boxes' or 'frozen.' Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a good command of grammar with only minor errors. The sentence structures are varied and generally accurate. Pay attention to articles (a/an/the) and preposition usage, as these are common areas for errors. For example, review the use of 'in' versus 'into' in the context of placing fish in water.

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