Process Diagram

Band 6+: Summarise the information by selecting and reporting main features, and make comparison where relevant

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Image for topic: Summarise the information by selecting and reporting main features, and make comparison where relevant

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The image depicts a process involving catching fish, transporting them via boat to a port, proceeding to a freezing stage, followed by a thaw; post-thaw, the fish are submerged in a mixture of salt water and yellow coloring before being cut open, then immersed in fresh water, smoked, and subsequently frozen at 0°C; the fish are stored cold, distributed, and finally delivered to a fish store.

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The diagram illustrates, method by which smoked fish is produced and distribution to the fish store.

Overall, there are sequential stages ,the process is delineated into 13 dixtinct phases ,commencing from collection of fish from sea and culminating for the distribution of smoked fish from shops.

Initially, fishes are collected from the sea and deliverd into port ,then it undergoes freezing. This frozen fish should wash neatly with fresh water after it should be thawed and cleaned to cut open .This stage is followed by the process of washing fish in a solution using salt water and yellow color.

In the ensuing phase, this cleaned fish is smoked ,after this it is placed in the cold storage with temperature 0 degree celcius. The next step involves distributing this smoked fish to in a large vehicle to the fish stores to sell .

Word Count: 142

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

smoked: 4

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report adequately summarizes the process of smoked fish production and distribution. The main stages are identified and presented in a logical sequence. However, there's room for improvement in terms of conciseness and clarity. Consider using more precise language and avoiding redundancy. For example, combining some of the shorter sentences could enhance the flow. Also, ensure that all steps are covered, even if briefly, to provide a more comprehensive overview. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report provides a general overview of the process, but the organization could be improved. The description of the stages is somewhat disjointed, and transitions between phases could be smoother. Consider using more cohesive devices to link ideas and improve the flow of information. Paragraphing is adequate but could be more strategically employed to group related stages of the process.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is generally appropriate for the task, but there is room for improvement in terms of precision and variety. Some phrases are a bit basic (e.g., "deliverd into port", "wash neatly"). Try to incorporate more specific and descriptive language to enhance the clarity and sophistication of your report. For example, instead of 'collected from the sea', you could use 'harvested from the sea'.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Subject-verb agreement issues (e.g., "fishes are collected", "it undergoes freezing"), incorrect verb tenses, and awkward phrasing are present throughout the text. Focus on improving your grammatical accuracy by reviewing basic grammar rules and proofreading carefully. Pay attention to sentence structure and ensure that your sentences are clear and concise.

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