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Band 6+: The chart below give information about annual spending in Springfield College in three years.

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The image shows three pie charts from 1990, 2000, and 2010. For 1990: Furniture and Equipment 5%, Insurance 3%, Books 15%, Technology 2%, Teacher salaries 40%, Other workers' salaries 28%. For 2000: Furniture and Equipment 3%, Insurance 1%, Books 20%, Technology 3%, Teacher salaries 50%, Other workers' salaries 22%. For 2010: Furniture and Equipment 3%, Insurance 1%, Books 8%, Technology 10%, Teacher salaries 45%, Other workers' salaries 33%.

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The three pie charts show how much the Springfield College spent on different expenditure in three separated years: 1990, 2000, 2010.

Overall, teacher salaries accounted for the largest cost to the school, while spending increased dramatically for technology and insurance; there were corresponding drops in furniture and equipment, books, and other workers’ salaries.

In all three years, the greatest spending was on teacher salaries. But while other workers’ salaries saw a fall from 28% in 1990 to 15% in 2010; teacher salaries remained the biggest cost, reaching 40% of all spending in 1991 and ending at 45%, three times the figure for other workers’ salaries.

Between 2000 and 2010, the most significant change was in technology, which rose sharply from 3% to 23% of total spending. At the same time, the proportion of the budget for books dropped dramatically from 9% to only 1%. Expenditure on furniture and equipment also increased, climbing from 5% to 15%. Finally, insurance continued to rise, reaching 8% in 2010.

Word Count: 165

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

three: 4

salaries: 4

spending: 4

teacher: 3

other: 3

workers': 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report provides a general overview of the data but includes some inaccuracies and misinterpretations. For example, the report states that other workers' salaries fell to 15% in 2010, but the data shows 33%. Also, the report mentions that technology rose to 23% of total spending, but the data shows 10%. Expenditure on furniture and equipment decreased, not increased. To improve, ensure accurate data representation and avoid misinterpreting the information presented in the charts.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has a clear structure with an introduction, overview, and detailed paragraphs. However, the information is not always presented in a logical order, and some connections between sentences could be smoother. For example, the shift from teacher salaries to other workers' salaries in the third paragraph feels a bit abrupt. Consider using transition words and phrases to improve the flow and guide the reader through the information more effectively.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a range of vocabulary appropriate for the task, such as 'expenditure,' 'accounted for,' and 'proportion.' However, there are instances where the word choice could be more precise or varied. For example, using 'spending' repeatedly can be replaced with synonyms like 'expenditure,' 'allocation,' or 'budget.' Additionally, consider incorporating more sophisticated vocabulary related to trends and changes, such as 'fluctuated,' 'remained stable,' or 'witnessed a surge.'

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are noticeable grammatical errors and inaccuracies that affect the clarity and precision of the writing. For example, there are errors in tense usage, subject-verb agreement, and the use of articles. Also, the report contains some inaccurate data. Proofread carefully to identify and correct these errors to improve the overall grammatical accuracy.

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