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Band 5+: The diagrams below show how chocolate is made and how the price of a chocolate bar is divided up among those involved in the process.

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Image for topic: The diagrams below show how chocolate is made and how the price of a chocolate bar is divided up among those involved in the process.

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The image includes a flowchart and a pie chart. The flowchart outlines the chocolate-making process in these steps: 1) Cocoa beans harvested and fermented, 2) Dried beans roasted at 350°F, 3) Beans crushed to remove outer shell, 4) Inner part pressed to obtain chocolate liquid. The pie chart depicts the cost breakdown of chocolate production: 30% ingredients, 20% labor, 15% packaging, 10% transportation, 15% advertising, 10% other.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The diagram illustrates how chocolate produced, while pie chart show that price of chocolate bar different groups involved.

Overall it can be seen that production involved of several stages beggining with the cocoa beans and ending with chocolate bars ,while price of chocolate bar unevenly shared with the largest proportions going to ingredient and supermarket and the smallest share to farmers.

To begin with cocoa beans are grounded after which waste matreial is removed and cocoa liquor is obtained. The liquor is then pressed producing cocoa powder and cocoa butter. The cocoa powder is used in the food industry, whereas the cocoa butter is mixed with more cocoa liquor to from industrial chocolate.Finally sugar and other ingredients are added , and the mixuture is processed to produce chocolate bars.

According to the pie chart the highest proportion of the price is ingredients and overheads , at 37%, closely followed by supermarket which take 34%. In contrast farmers recevied the smallest proportion at only 4%.The remaining cost is divided between tax which represents 15% and the chocolate company accounting for 10%.

Word Count: 180

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

cocoa: 8

chocolate: 6

price: 3

which: 3

liquor: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report generally addresses the requirements of the task, describing both the chocolate-making process and the cost breakdown. However, there are some inaccuracies and omissions. The description of the chocolate-making process misses key details like fermentation, roasting, and crushing of the beans. The pie chart description also contains inaccuracies, misrepresenting the categories and percentages. To improve, ensure accurate and comprehensive coverage of all key features in both visuals.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has some issues with coherence and cohesion. The organization is present, but the flow of information could be improved. Use cohesive devices more effectively to link ideas within and between paragraphs. For example, transition words and phrases could be used to guide the reader more smoothly through the different stages of chocolate production and the breakdown of costs. Paragraphing is generally adequate, but could be refined to better group related information.

Lexical Resource

The report demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary. While the vocabulary used is generally relevant to the topic, there is room for improvement in terms of precision and sophistication. Try to incorporate a wider range of synonyms and more specific terminology related to chocolate production and cost analysis. For example, instead of repeatedly using 'proportion,' consider using terms like 'percentage,' 'share,' or 'ratio' where appropriate.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors that affect clarity and readability. Errors in verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and article usage are prevalent throughout the text. Sentence structure is often awkward and unclear. Focus on improving your understanding and application of basic grammar rules. Proofread carefully to identify and correct errors before submitting your work.

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