Line Graph

Band 6+: The following charts below shows admission averages for students in several programs at different points in history. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

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The image displays a line graph showing admission averages of successful applicants (in percentage) across different decades and programs. In the 1970s, Arts is approximately 70%, Science 80%, Music 60%; in the 1980s, Arts 75%, Science about 84%, Music approximately 90%; in the 1990s, Arts roughly 72%, Science 85%, Music roughly 75%; in the 2000s, Arts roughly 72%, Science 87%, Music approximately 90%; in the 2010s, Arts 80%, Science 90%, Music approximately 85%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The line chart illustrates the student admissions in different programs at a particular point in time between 1970 to 2010.

Overall, it is evident that science and arts programs both were considerably increasing, while music programs upward and downward trend. A noticeable feature is that music subjects experienced the most significant change.

In detail, Arts began the period 1970 with only 60% students admitted which then increased 90% in 1980. In comparison, science programs recorded 75% students admitted, while in 2000 recorded 90% was the highest. Another key feature is that arts programs were gradually decreased by 75% between 1980 to 2000.

Meanwhile, music programs shrank sharply from 1970 to 1990. The figure science program changed noticeably, moving from 75% to 90%. By the end of the period, science program student applicants had become the highest in 92%, whereas other programs, such as the arts program, reached 80% and music had the lowest, nearly 60%. These changes highlight the overall changes in admission to different programs between 1970 to 2000.

Word Count: 170

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

programs: 8

science: 4

music: 4

between: 3

program: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task but contains inaccuracies and some misunderstandings of the data. The organization is present but could be improved for clarity. To improve, focus on accurately representing the data and ensuring that comparisons are precise and supported by the graph. Also, pay attention to the time frame mentioned in the graph and ensure that the report covers the entire period.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an adequate attempt to organize information, but the flow of ideas could be improved. The organization into paragraphs is present, but the transitions between sentences and paragraphs are not always smooth, making it slightly difficult for the reader to follow the relationships between different points. For example, the shift from discussing Arts and Science to Music in the third paragraph feels abrupt. Consider using transition words or phrases to guide the reader more effectively. Also, ensure that each paragraph has a clear focus and that all sentences within the paragraph contribute to that focus.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the main points of the graph. However, there are instances where the word choice could be more precise or sophisticated. For example, using 'considerably increasing' is acceptable, but more specific language could enhance the description. To improve, try to incorporate a wider variety of synonyms and more precise terminology related to trends and changes (e.g., 'fluctuated,' 'plateaued,' 'peaked'). Also, pay attention to collocations to ensure that words are used in a natural and idiomatic way.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are noticeable grammatical errors that affect clarity. Common errors include incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward phrasing. For example, 'Arts began the period 1970 with only 60% students admitted which then increased 90% in 1980' contains multiple issues. To improve, focus on proofreading carefully for grammatical errors and varying sentence structures to enhance the flow and readability of the report. Consider using a grammar checker and then manually reviewing the suggestions to ensure accuracy.

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