Line Graph

Band 4+: The line graph below gives information about the number of visitors to three London museums between June and September 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

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Image for topic: The line graph below gives information about the number of visitors to three London museums between June and September 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

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The image showcases a line graph detailing the number of visitors, in thousands, to three London museums over the months of June to September in 2013. British Museum visitors were 600k in June, increased to 750k in July, decreased to 500k in August, and rose again to 650k in September. Science Museum visitors were consistent at 400k in both June and July, declining to 300k in August, and slightly increasing to 450k in September. Natural History Museum visitors started at 550k in June, increased to 600k in July, declined to 450k in August, and remained at 400k in September.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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Note: Both the topic and the answer were created by one of our users.

The line graph illustrates the quantity of vistors to British Museum,Science Museum and Natural History Museum from June to September in 2013.

Overall,British Museum had highest figurs rather than other two Museums,while Science Museum was lower figure during this year.

To begin with,Natural History Museum was average figure between June and July by approximately 450,000 visitors but this figure extremely decreased next months about 50,000.Afterwards,this Museum received estimeated 400,000 visitors from July to August.In September,tourists were rose slowly with 80,000 and approaching an 500,000.

Regarding the other two museums, the number of visitors to the Natural History Museum decreased significantly from about 550,000 in June to 400,000 in July. It then remained stable in August before rising to approximately 500,000 visitors in September. Similarly, attendance at the Science Museum fell gradually from 400,000 in June to around 320,000 in August. However, it recovered sharply in the final month, reaching nearly 480,000 visitors. Overall, both museums experienced a decline during the middle of the period, followed by a noticeable increase in September.

Word Count: 171

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

museum: 8

visitors: 5

history: 3

september: 3

figure: 3

400000: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task but suffers from significant issues with data consistency and logical organization. There is a major error in the third paragraph where the student describes the Natural History Museum, but then repeats the same museum name in the fourth paragraph to describe what appears to be the British Museum. This creates confusion regarding which data belongs to which institution. Additionally, some of the numerical data provided in the report contradicts the visual description and itself. To improve, ensure that each museum is clearly identified and that the data reported for each is consistent throughout the text. Focus on grouping information logically by museum or by trend to avoid repetition and confusion.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report suffers from significant organizational issues. There is a major logical error where the student describes the 'Natural History Museum' in the third paragraph, but then begins the fourth paragraph by saying 'Regarding the other two museums, the number of visitors to the Natural History Museum decreased...', which creates extreme confusion as the museum was already discussed. Furthermore, the overview is somewhat repetitive and lacks the sophistication required to link ideas smoothly. To improve, ensure each paragraph has a distinct purpose (e.g., one for the British Museum, one for the others) and use clearer transition signals to guide the reader through the comparisons.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is limited and often used incorrectly, which obscures meaning. Phrases such as 'had highest figurs rather than other two Museums', 'was average figure', and 'tourists were rose slowly' are non-standard and grammatically awkward. There is also a lack of variety in describing trends. Instead of using 'figure' repeatedly, try using synonyms like 'numbers', 'totals', 'attendance', or 'visitor counts'. Aim to use more precise collocations, such as 'experienced a significant drop' or 'reached a peak', rather than 'was average figure'.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Grammatical errors are frequent and often impede communication. There are issues with subject-verb agreement, article usage (e.g., 'an 500,000'), and sentence structure (e.g., 'tourists were rose slowly'). The student attempts complex sentences, but they often fail due to incorrect tense usage or word order. Focus on mastering basic sentence structures first, particularly how to use the past simple tense to describe historical data, and ensure that nouns and verbs are correctly paired.

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