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Band 6+: the maps below show the site of a school in 2004 and the plan fr changes to the school site in 2024

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The image shows two diagrams of a school site in 2004 and 2024. In 2004, the school had 600 students, two school buildings, a car park, and a sports field. In 2024, the school plans to accommodate 1,000 students, add a third school building, expand the car park and sports field, and include two new paths connecting the buildings.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The diagram depicts the school location in 2004 and the plan for site modifications in 2024.

The school will have an additional buildings expanding through out the sports field resulting to a narrow sports field but with an addtional parking space for cars.

In 2004 the site of the school shows that there are only two school buildings with a large sports field, surrounded by trees. The buildings are divided by a pathway leading to the sports field. Hence, the site modification for the school’s location, building 1 and 2 will be interconnected, resulting to a shorter pathway that leads to an additional building –building 3– in 2024.

The similarities of school location is that the school buildings 1 and 2 are still located in the same area, where as the school building 1 is built near the main entrance and school building 2 is adjacently located towards it. The sports field is still placed at the far end of the buildings and the car parks are still placed at the same area.

In conclusion, the modification of the school’s location has major changes due to the addition of the third building and a second car park.

Word Count: 197

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

school: 8

buildings: 5

sports: 5

field: 5

building: 5

location: 4

still: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report generally addresses the requirements of the task, describing the changes to the school site between 2004 and 2024. However, the description lacks detail and precision, and there is some repetition. To improve, focus on providing more specific details about the changes, such as the exact location and size of the new building, the expanded car park, and the new paths. Also, avoid unnecessary repetition and ensure that the information is presented in a clear and organized manner.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally understandable, but the organization could be improved. The flow of ideas is not always smooth, and the connections between sentences and paragraphs could be clearer. Consider using more explicit transition words and phrases to guide the reader. For example, in the third paragraph, you could start with 'In contrast' or 'However' to highlight the changes from 2004 to 2024. The conclusion is quite basic; try to summarize the most significant changes and their overall impact.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, but there's room for improvement in terms of variety and precision. Words like 'additional,' 'large,' and 'major' are used, but more specific and descriptive language could enhance the report. For instance, instead of 'narrow sports field,' you could describe its dimensions or relative size more accurately. Consider using synonyms and more sophisticated vocabulary to describe the changes and features of the school site.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. For example, 'expanding through out the sports field resulting to' should be revised for correct grammar and phrasing. Similarly, 'The similarities of school location is that' is grammatically incorrect and needs restructuring. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, correct tense usage, and accurate preposition usage. Proofreading carefully for these errors will improve the overall quality of your writing.

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