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Band 4+: The number and the purpose of trips made by men and women in a certain European country in 2007

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The image shows the number and purposes of trips made by men and women in a certain European country in 2007: Day trip: Men 50, Women 40; Sports/entertainment: Men 70, Women 60; Visiting friends: Men 150, Women 150; Shopping: Men 100, Women 150; Travelling to work: Men 250, Women 300.

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The amount of trips desigions done by men and women in a few European country in the year 2007. Overall bar chat gives information about differences of decisions namely day trips, sport/entartaiment, visiting firend, shopping and traveling to work between men and women. Traveling to work showes highest number by men. However women domiated on shopping and they, as it given prevailed in multiple categories.

Immidiatle evident that traveling to work showed significantly numbers of trip done by men, almost 350. Women in contrast substantially less but on shopping they dominated with 280 trips. The information emphasizes on visiting friends both of them are almost equal around 190-210.

Men done 250 trips to sport and entertaimnt, it is slightly more than women did. Finally day trips, on the bar chart it includes negligable numbers. Men purposed marginally trips comprahased to women with 25-35 difference.

Word Count: 144

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

trips: 6

women: 6

shopping: 3

traveling: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task, but there are some inaccuracies and a lack of clarity. The data is not always accurately represented, and the language could be more precise. To improve, focus on accurately reporting the data from the chart and using more precise language to describe the trends and differences. Also, ensure that the overview provides a clear summary of the main trends. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report lacks a clear structure and logical flow. The introduction is weak, and the body paragraphs jump between different categories without a clear connection. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs are often missing or poorly executed, making it difficult for the reader to follow the analysis. Paragraphing needs improvement to group related information effectively. Consider using topic sentences to introduce the main point of each paragraph and transitional phrases to link ideas.

Lexical Resource

The report demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary and frequent inaccuracies in word choice. There are instances of inappropriate or imprecise language (e.g., "desigions," "entartaiment," "firend," "showes," "domiated," "negligable," "comprahased"). The report relies on simple vocabulary and lacks the sophistication needed to effectively convey the nuances of the data. Focus on expanding your vocabulary related to describing data and trends, and ensure accurate usage through careful proofreading and reference to a dictionary or thesaurus.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, incorrect article usage, and awkward sentence structures. These errors significantly impede clarity and comprehension. There are also issues with punctuation. Focus on mastering basic grammar rules and sentence structures. Practice writing simple sentences and gradually incorporate more complex structures as your accuracy improves. Proofread carefully to identify and correct errors.

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