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Band 5+: The number and the purpose of trips made by men and women in a certain European country in 2007

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The image shows the number and purposes of trips made by men and women in a certain European country in 2007: Day trip: Men 50, Women 40; Sports/entertainment: Men 70, Women 60; Visiting friends: Men 150, Women 150; Shopping: Men 100, Women 150; Travelling to work: Men 250, Women 300.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The bar chart illustrates the amount and the aim of travels which made by male and female in a European country in 2007.

Overall, the dominating purpose among the man was traveling to work, and this trend followed by shopping, while the lowest figure was day trip. But, among the women the highest data was shopping and followed by traveling.

The most utilized purposes of trips was travelling for men, while shopping was the most popular for women. The number of travelling to work among males was around 330 while females’ number was about 210 times. The figure for the shopping among women was almost 280; however, men’s figure illustrate near the 200.

Day trip was the most lowest one for both genders. Interestingly, visiting friends were almost the same with unnoticeable changes for both genders. Men’s number for visiting friends was approximately 190 while women was over 200. For sports and entertainment males commuted around 140 times while females were about 130. Day trip was no popular for both sexes. To be clear, women travelled about 20 times while men’s times was 40.

Word Count: 184

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

while: 6

women: 5

among: 4

shopping: 4

times: 4

figure: 3

number: 3

about: 3

men's: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task, but there are some inaccuracies in the data reported and some issues with expression. For example, the numbers quoted in the third paragraph are significantly different from those in the visual description. Also, the final sentence contains an inaccuracy. To improve, ensure that the data you include is accurate and that you proofread your work carefully.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report's organization is somewhat unclear, and the flow of information is not always smooth. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be improved to enhance coherence. For example, the shift from the overall trends to specific details feels abrupt. Consider using cohesive devices like 'In contrast,' 'Similarly,' or 'However' to guide the reader through the information. Paragraphing could also be more effectively used to group related ideas together.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is relatively basic and lacks precision. There are instances of awkward phrasing, such as 'the dominating purpose among the man' and 'most utilized purposes of trips.' To improve, try to use a wider range of vocabulary and more precise language to describe the data. For example, instead of 'the amount and the aim of travels,' consider using 'the number and purpose of trips.' Also, focus on using synonyms and varied sentence structures to avoid repetition. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Examples include incorrect verb forms ('travels which made by male and female'), subject-verb agreement issues ('the highest data was shopping'), and misuse of articles ('the man,' 'the women'). Sentence structure is also often awkward and unclear. To improve, focus on reviewing basic grammar rules, particularly those related to verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and article usage. Proofreading carefully for errors before submitting the report is also essential.

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