Multiple Graphs

Band 5+: The pie chart shows average monthly student expenditure in the UK in 2016. The bar chart shows sources of student income in the same year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The pie chart shows average monthly student expenditure in the UK in 2016. The bar chart shows sources of student income in the same year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image presents two visual data sets from the UK in 2016. The pie chart of monthly student expenditure details: 36% on rent, 19% on food, 12% on bills, 9% on travel, 10% on study materials, and 15% on leisure. The bar chart for sources of student income shows: 79% from student loans, 70% from family, 43% from part-time jobs, 30% from savings, 25% from bank overdrafts, and 4% from grants and funding.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The two graphs given illustrate the portion of money that UK student spend on different criterion per month and how they got it from in 2016.

Overall, the pie chart depicts that most of the studnet’s expenditure was spend on basic needs and entertainment. In addition, the bar chart comprised six distinct sources which at least 30% of student got money from.

In average, a student in UK spent about $800 per month nine years ago in 2016, in which approximately a half of it had gone for the rent, costing $385 each month. Followed by food and bills, which cost $124 and $69 respectively. Moreover, money spent in entertaining and others held a quater among all the money used, grapped with $204 .

The sources that student got their income were varient. The most prevelant way was from student loan, whcih more than 80% of student applied for. Also, about two third of studnet got their income from their families and worked on part time jobs. Although there were still mor thann 40% of UK student had used savings, bank overdraft and grants for sources to earn money, it seems uncommon in comparison to the others.

Word Count: 197

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

student: 7

money: 5

month: 3

sources: 3

which: 3

their: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task well by summarizing the main features of both charts and making relevant comparisons. The organization is clear, with an overview followed by detailed paragraphs for each chart. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data reported (e.g., the calculated dollar amounts and percentages don't always align perfectly with the original data). Also, there are a few grammatical errors and typos throughout the report. To improve, ensure data accuracy by double-checking calculations and proofread carefully to eliminate errors.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report presents a reasonable overview of the data, but the organization could be improved. The introduction is adequate, but the overall summary could be more concise and focused. The body paragraphs contain relevant information, but the transitions between ideas are sometimes abrupt. Consider using more cohesive devices to link sentences and paragraphs, creating a smoother flow of information. For example, use phrases like 'In contrast,' 'Similarly,' or 'Furthermore' to connect related ideas.

Lexical Resource

The report demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary, but there are instances of imprecise word choice and awkward phrasing. For example, 'criterion' should be 'criteria,' and 'grapped with' is not idiomatic. To improve, focus on using more precise and natural language. Consider using synonyms and paraphrasing to avoid repetition and demonstrate a wider vocabulary range. Pay attention to collocations and ensure that words are used in their correct context. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity and readability. Common errors include incorrect verb tenses ('spend' instead of 'spent'), subject-verb agreement issues ('studnet's expenditure was spend'), and incorrect word forms ('prevelant' instead of 'prevalent,' 'whcih' instead of 'which,' 'mor thann' instead of 'more than'). There are also issues with article usage and sentence structure. To improve, carefully proofread your work for grammatical errors and consider using grammar resources to reinforce your understanding of English grammar rules. Focus on using a variety of sentence structures to enhance the complexity and sophistication of your writing.

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