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Band 7+: The pie charts below show the age groups of the users on different social media platforms in Australia in 2011. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make a comparison where relevant.

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The image displays three pie charts labeled Facebook, YouTube, and Twitter showing age distribution percentages. Facebook: 10-17 (9%), 18-34 (29%), 35-49 (28%), 50-64 (15%), 65+ (19%). YouTube: 10-17 (10%), 18-34 (30%), 35-49 (26%), 50-64 (15%), 65+ (20%). Twitter: 10-17 (9%), 18-34 (29%), 35-49 (40%), 50-64 (4%), 65+ (18%).

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The pie charts demonstrate the number of social media users in Australia in 2011, categorized by different age groups within 3 popular platforms, namely Facebook, Youtube and Twitter.

Overall, it can be seen that social networking sites are most popular among young and middle adults while teenage Australians have restricted access to social media.

Concerning the young and elderly adult users aging from 18 to 49 years old, the percentage of these users among the three platforms is surprisingly the same, with 40% of 35-49 year old people using Twitter as the only exception. In fact, the number of social media accounts of these 2 age groups each accounts for approximately 30% of the total number of each platform’s users.

Regarding other age groups, Facebook and Youtube share the same pattern as well as figures of users distribution with approximately 20%, 15% and 10% of users aging 10-17, 50-64 and 65+, respectively. In the same vein, Twitter also follows this allocation with the mentioned three groups’ percentage of users sequentially makes up 18%, 9% and 4%.

Word Count: 176

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

users: 6

social: 4

number: 3

groups: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report adequately addresses the task by summarizing the main features of the pie charts and making relevant comparisons. The overall trends are identified, and specific data is included to support the observations. However, there are some areas for improvement. The report could benefit from a more nuanced analysis and a clearer structure. For instance, the introduction could be more concise, and the body paragraphs could be organized around specific comparisons or contrasts between the platforms. Additionally, while the report mentions the percentages, it could provide more context or interpretation of these figures to enhance the analysis. To improve, focus on refining the structure, deepening the analysis, and ensuring clarity in the presentation of information.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally well-organized with a clear introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. However, there are some instances where the connections between sentences could be smoother. For example, in the third paragraph, the transition between the general statement about 18-49 year olds and the specific mention of Twitter could be improved. Consider using more varied cohesive devices to enhance the flow of information.

Lexical Resource

The report demonstrates a good range of vocabulary relevant to the task. Words like 'categorized,' 'platforms,' 'restricted access,' and 'allocation' are used appropriately. However, there's room to enhance the sophistication of the language. For instance, instead of 'surprisingly the same,' consider using a more nuanced phrase like 'remarkably consistent' or 'exhibit a notable similarity.' Also, try to avoid repetition by using synonyms or rephrasing sentences.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a good command of grammar with a variety of sentence structures. However, there are a few instances where grammatical errors or awkward phrasing affect clarity. For example, '...the percentage of these users among the three platforms is surprisingly the same...' could be rephrased for better clarity and grammatical correctness. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement and the correct use of prepositions. Proofreading carefully can help identify and correct these minor errors.

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