Table

Band 6+: The table shows Hollywood female employment positions and changes in 1994 and 2003. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

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Image for topic: The table shows Hollywood female employment positions and changes in 1994 and 2003. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

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The image depicts a table with three columns and six rows, showcasing the percentage of female employees in different jobs for the years 1994 and 2003, as well as the percentage of change between these years; costume designer: 1994 (74.2%), 2003 (76.1%), change (2.5%); producer: 1994 (15.6%), 2003 (10.3%), change (-34.0%); editor: 1994 (11.4%), 2003 (14.0%), change (22.8%); director: 1994 (5.0%), 2003 (3.0%), change (-40.0%); writer: 1994 (10.0%), 2003 (12.0%), change (20.0%).

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The table provides information about female employment positions and percentage changes in Hollywood in 1994 and 2003.

As regards in 1994, we can see that women dominated the fashion industry, amount to 74.2% of the whole job. Interestingly, director was less common amongst female workforces, with 5% of female employees. Moreover, producer, editor and writer had female staffs accounting for 15.6%, 11.4% and 10% respectively.

As for 2003, costume designer were still in the top of the list, 76.1% of girls were employed. Following that, there are 14% of female joined the editor career. For other occupations, writer(12%), producer(10.3%) and director(3%).

Overall, costume designer had the highest percentage of female employees and had a change of +2.5% whilst director had the least number of women labor compared to others and experienced a dramatic dwindle of 40% in 2003. Editor shows the highest percentage increase which witness an upturn of 22.8%. Female employees of writer had the second most growth around 23% while producer had a decline of 34%.

Word Count: 168

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

female: 7

percentage: 3

employees: 3

editor: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report effectively summarizes the data, highlighting key trends and changes in female employment positions in Hollywood between 1994 and 2003. The overview is clear, and the comparisons are relevant. To improve, consider integrating the data more seamlessly within the paragraphs rather than presenting them as separate lists. Also, ensure that all significant changes are mentioned and that the language is consistently precise.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally coherent, but the organization could be improved. The information is presented in a way that is easy to follow, but the transitions between paragraphs could be smoother. Consider using more varied cohesive devices to link ideas and sentences. For example, instead of starting multiple sentences with 'As for' or 'Moreover,' try using synonyms or rephrasing to create a more natural flow.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, but there is room for improvement in terms of range and precision. While the report conveys the main points, using more sophisticated vocabulary could enhance the overall quality. For instance, instead of 'girls were employed,' consider using 'women were employed' or 'female employees held positions.' Also, explore synonyms for words like 'dwindle' and 'upturn' to demonstrate a wider lexical range.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Some examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('director was less common'), incorrect preposition usage ('As regards in 1994'), and awkward phrasing ('amount to 74.2% of the whole job'). While the overall meaning is understandable, addressing these errors would significantly improve the grammatical accuracy of the report. Pay close attention to verb tenses, article usage, and sentence structure to enhance grammatical control.

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