Letter

Band 5+: volunteered to organize a farewell party for a colleague who is leaving the company, but due to unforeseen circumstances, you can no longer fulfill this commitment. Write a letter to your colleague explaining why you can't organize the party. You should include details about: - Why you initially volunteered - The reasons preventing you from organizing it nowYou - Suggest an alternative solution or offer support in another way

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Dear Mr Star,

My name is Alexandr Kolo. I should be organize a farewell event for the Steven Moore, but due to unforeseen circumstances, I am not longer able to do so. My pregnant humster White didn’t sleep last night and I have to be at home with it this evening. Fortunatelly, my collegues Mary and Adam can help us to prepare the party.

Actually, I am sure, they can make an amazing event. For instance, Mary is very strong organizer and bossy woman. As you know, she has been visiting teatre class since 2023. In addition, Adam five years ago was going to be an comic actor and clown, but, didn’t it. No doubt, this couple will come up something engaging and fun! Moreover, they had already agreed.

Sadly, but I need take care about my little pet. I would’t say that White is part of my family, however, it is my real friend. I hope, you understand me.

Regards, Alexandr

Word Count: 162

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:
No noticeable repetition! Great job!

Task Response

The letter addresses the task by explaining why you can't organize the event, mentioning steps to find a replacement, and offering suggestions. However, the tone is inappropriate for a formal letter to a manager. The reasons provided are not professional, and the descriptions of colleagues are somewhat informal. To improve, maintain a professional tone throughout the letter, provide more realistic and work-related reasons for your inability to organize the event, and focus on the colleagues' relevant skills rather than personal anecdotes.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter's coherence is affected by abrupt transitions and a somewhat illogical flow of information. The reason for not organizing the event is unusual and presented without sufficient context, which may confuse the reader. To improve coherence, ensure each paragraph focuses on a single idea and that transitions between ideas are smooth and logical. Consider rephrasing the reason for your inability to organize the event to maintain a professional tone.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is relatively simple and sometimes inappropriate for a formal letter to a manager. For example, describing a colleague as a 'bossy woman' is not professional. To enhance lexical resource, use a wider range of vocabulary that is suitable for a business context. Consider using more formal and respectful language when describing colleagues and explaining your situation.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter contains several grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses ('I should be organize'), incorrect word usage ('pregnant humster'), and punctuation mistakes. These errors impact the clarity and professionalism of the letter. To improve grammatical accuracy, carefully proofread your writing and focus on using correct verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and appropriate vocabulary. Consider using a grammar checker to identify and correct errors before submitting your writing.

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