Letter

Band 4+: You are planning a surprise birthday party for a close friend. You need to request the use of the community hall in your neighborhood. Write a letter to the community hall manager to request permission to use the hall. You should include: - the date and time you would like to book the hall - the number of guests you expect - the reason for the event and why this venue is suitable.

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Hello! My name is Zhansaya.

I’m planning a surprise birthday party for my close friend, and i need your community hall. If we can realise that i will be thankful to you!

The date of the event is twenty fourth of april at 7 pm. The number of guests is not very high, probably ten or maybe twelve peoples.

I need your hall because it’s not large or small, it is perfectly sized, it’s exactly what i need. I’m gonna make such a festive party. In it would be a music, dances and mini concert from Justin Bieber. I’m sure about your community hall, because it perfect for my plans.

Please, write me back if everything is in force!

Word Count: 119

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
A2 - Upper Beginner
Consider using more varied and advanced words.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:
No noticeable repetition! Great job!

Task Response

The letter addresses the main points of the task, including the date, time, number of guests, and reason for needing the hall. However, the tone is somewhat informal, and the reasons for choosing the hall could be more specific and persuasive. To improve, focus on using a more formal tone and providing more detailed reasons why the community hall is particularly suitable (e.g., proximity to guests, available facilities). The letter falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter's organization is somewhat unclear, and the flow of ideas could be improved. Consider using more formal transitions and structuring the letter into distinct paragraphs, each addressing a specific point (e.g., introduction, date/time, guest count, reason for venue, closing). This will enhance the letter's clarity and make it easier to follow.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is quite basic and repetitive. Try to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas more precisely and effectively. For example, instead of repeatedly using 'perfect,' explore synonyms like 'ideal,' 'suitable,' or 'well-suited.' Also, avoid informal language like 'gonna' in a formal request. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, correct tense usage, and proper punctuation. For instance, 'peoples' should be 'people,' and 'In it would be' is grammatically awkward. Review basic grammar rules and proofread carefully to minimize errors.

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