Letter

Band 5+: You booked a service with a company, but the service was not delivered as promised, leading to inconvenience and frustration. Write a letter to the company explaining the problem. You should include details about: - The specifics of the service you booked and the date - How the actual service deviated from what was promised - What resolution you are seeking from the company.

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Dear sir or ma,

I am writing to express my displeasure with the service being rendered.

I ordered for supplies of various pharmaceuticals products from your company which includes; 10 cartons of Normal saline, 100 giving sets, 200 five mls needles and syringes, 12 whey protein powder, 2 packs blood giving sets.

The consumables on delivery to the community pharmacy where I practice, I noticed most of the items were not in their ideal conditions. For instance, majority of the infusions and the blood giving sets, which is supposed to serve the general hospital in my community were bad and we recorded quite a number deaths due inadequate equipment being supplied.

I suggest that a proper dispatch of these medications should be handled by a carefree professional, who value the importance of health and also skilled in proper distribution.

I hope this can be resolved soonest, so I could deliver proper care to the community.

Yours faithfully

Oluwafemi Bakare

Word Count: 159

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

giving: 3

proper: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter adequately addresses the task by detailing the service booked, expressing dissatisfaction, and suggesting a resolution. However, the explanation of the dissatisfaction could be more specific and impactful. To improve, provide more concrete details about the condition of the items and the impact of the inadequate equipment, and be more direct about the desired resolution (e.g., a refund, replacement, or specific action). Also, the tone could be more professional.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter is generally coherent, but the organization could be improved. Consider dedicating a separate paragraph to each of the points mentioned in the task instructions (details of the service, reasons for dissatisfaction, and expected resolution). This would enhance clarity and flow. Also, the transition between the description of the order and the explanation of the problems could be smoother.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, but there's room for improvement. Using more precise and varied language could enhance the impact of your letter. For example, instead of 'not in their ideal conditions,' you could use more specific terms to describe the state of the items. Also, 'carefree professional' is not appropriate here; consider using 'responsible professional'.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter contains grammatical errors that affect clarity. For example, the sentence 'we recorded quite a number deaths due inadequate equipment being supplied' needs correction. It should be revised to something like 'we recorded a number of deaths due to the inadequate equipment supplied.' Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, correct tense usage, and accurate punctuation to improve grammatical accuracy.

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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