Letter

Band 5+: You purchased a mobile phone from an online store a week ago, but you've encountered several issues with it since receiving it. Write a letter to the online store's customer service department complaining about the faulty mobile phone. You should mention: - The specific problems you are experiencing with the phone - What steps you have already taken to try and resolve the issues - What you expect the online store to do to rectify the situation

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Dear Customer Service of Retailer

Greetings, I hope this letter finds you well. I am writing to you regarding my faulty mobile phone. I purchased from you on 23 March 2025 at Tokopedia Mall Store.

At first time, there wasn’t anything unusual about the phone but something wrong when I tried to charge it. 5 minutes after plugged it into electrical socket, the phone became so hot then I tried to unplug it and cooled it down. After 10 minutes, I tried to charge it again but the phone suddenly died. This problem has caused me my time and my work as in I used the phone to work. All of my data were on the phone and I can’t access it. This has caused me extreme headache.

I expect to return this phone to you, also I added my receipt as this mail attachment. Frankly, I want a refund for this faulty phone of mine. In order to have a refund, I also attached a video of unboxing and during that madness moment of charging and recharging. I sincerely hope that you can granted my request as in the faulty resulted from the production defect. Thank you very much for your attention

Your costumer

Word Count: 205

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

phone: 8

faulty: 3

tried: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter appropriately addresses all requirements of the task, providing relevant details about the phone's defects, the inconvenience caused, and the desired action. The letter is well-organized and easy to understand. To further enhance the response, consider elaborating slightly more on the impact of data loss on your work and ensure consistent use of formal language throughout the letter.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter is generally understandable, but the organization could be improved. Consider structuring your letter with a clear introduction stating the purpose, followed by paragraphs detailing the defects, the inconvenience caused, and your expected action. Using more formal connectors and transitional phrases would also enhance the flow.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, but there's room for improvement. Try to use more precise and varied language to describe the phone's defects and the inconvenience caused. For example, instead of 'something wrong,' you could say 'a significant malfunction.' Also, 'extreme headache' could be rephrased for a more professional tone.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Grammar and sentence structure need attention. There are several errors that affect clarity. For example, 'At first time' should be 'At first,' and 'This problem has caused me my time and my work as in I used the phone to work' is awkwardly phrased and grammatically incorrect. Proofread carefully and focus on constructing grammatically sound sentences.

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You made a mistake in classroom. Write a letter to your teacher. In the letter: state your apology; describe the situation; write about your promise to change.

You have eaten at a restaurant, and it was such a terrible experience that you have decided to inform the manager by letter of what happened and that you want your money back.

Check Your Answer On This Topic?

Generate A Band-9 Sample Answer?

Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Answers On The Same Topic:

Other Topics:

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