Cause And Solution

Band 6+: Doctors in many countries are saying that people are not getting enough physical exercise. What are the causes of this? How it can be addressed?

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Nowadays,doctors in many states are claiming that their citizens are not getting adequate physical exercise.This essay will discuss causes to these such as lack of adequate time amongst people as a result of their busy schedule as well as knowledge on the significance of daily exercises.It can be resolved by people creating some time after work and also organisations providing educational training to its employees to understand the value of exercising.

One major cause of people not getting sufficient physical exercise is due to lack of time due to busy schedules.People throughout the week go to work and over the weekends they are busy doing their domestic cleaning or shopping.For instance if someone has a free time over the weekend they try to do shopping so as to plan for the next week.As a result they have no time set for exercises.Another reason is that people lack knowledge on the importance of doing exercises.Most people feel that doing exercises is a waste of time and hence resort to doing other things they feel valuable to them hence will not put into consideration exercising.

Solutions to this is organisations providing education to it’s employees.Employees need to understand the essence of selfcare.Workers sometimes need to be reminded through trainings and sometimes office walks and as a result people will always ensure they do exercises.secondly people should learn to create time no matter the busy schedules thus it will enable individuals to create time to exercise.

In conclusion ,lack of adequate time due to tight schedules amongst individuals and knowledge on the benefits of doing exercises are amongst the issues causing people not to exercise.Consequently, this can be addressed by organisations providing trainings to its workers and being encouraged to put some focus on selfcare activities such as exercising.

Word Count: 296

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

people: 8

doing: 5

their: 3

adequate: 3

amongst: 3

result: 3

knowledge: 3

organisations: 3

providing: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses both parts of the prompt, presenting causes and solutions. A clear position is maintained throughout. The ideas are relevant, but the development is somewhat limited and could be more precise. For example, the cause of 'lack of knowledge' is mentioned but not fully explored, and the solution of 'organisations providing education' could be elaborated with more specific examples. To improve, ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and provide more detailed support for each point. Additionally, pay attention to grammatical accuracy and sentence structure to enhance clarity.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow is sometimes disrupted by abrupt transitions and a lack of cohesive devices. For example, the introduction lists causes and solutions without clear linking, and the body paragraphs could benefit from more explicit topic sentences and logical connectors. The conclusion is somewhat repetitive. To improve, use a wider range of linking words (e.g., 'Furthermore', 'In addition', 'As a result') and ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea that is developed smoothly.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a reasonable range of vocabulary, but there are instances of repetition (e.g., 'exercises' is used frequently) and some awkward phrasing (e.g., 'lack of adequate time amongst people as a result of their busy schedule'). There are also minor errors in word choice and collocation (e.g., 'resort to doing other things they feel valuable to them'). To improve, expand your vocabulary with synonyms (e.g., 'physical activity', 'workout', 'regimen') and use more precise and natural expressions. Avoid informal or unclear phrases and ensure that word choices are appropriate for an academic context.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains a number of grammatical errors and punctuation issues that affect clarity. For example, there are missing spaces after commas and periods (e.g., 'Nowadays,doctors', 'exercise.This'), and incorrect use of apostrophes (e.g., 'it's employees' should be 'its employees'). There are also subject-verb agreement issues (e.g., 'Solutions to this is' should be 'Solutions to this are') and some awkward sentence structures. To improve, focus on proofreading for punctuation and basic grammar, and practice using a variety of sentence structures (e.g., complex sentences with subordinate clauses) to demonstrate greater control.

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Band 6+: Doctors in many countries are saying that people are not getting enough physical exercise. What are the causes of this? How it can be addressed?

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Doctors in many countries are saying that people are not getting enough physical exercise. What are the causes of this? How it can be addressed?

Doctors in many countries are saying that people are not getting enough physical exercise. What are the causes of this? How it can be addressed?

Doctors in many countries are saying that people are not getting enough physical exercise. What are the causes of this? How it can be addressed?

Doctors in many countries are saying that people are not getting enough physical exercise. What are the causes of this? How it can be addressed?

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