Opinion

Band 4+: In many countries, governments spend a lot of money celebrating national holidays and festivals. However some people think that spending money on theses celebration is. a waste.To ehat extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

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n this period of modernity, many peoples celebrate festivals and national days which was organized by many countries. Flabbergastedly, other believe that rather than spending money on this spend currency on more important things. In my opinion, I strongly agree with this notion and my opinion will discussed in further paragraphs with a suitable conclusion.

Supporting my argument to the given statement, I firmly believe that such common festivals and national days come once in a year. In this digital age many individuals like spend money on these occasions they believe that spending currency on this make the special day memorable. Also they pay valuable tribute to this days.

To cite an example, in Surat many people spend most money on festivals of sculpture, it is also known as Ganesh Chaturthi. Approx 22 lakhs of funds are spent on one Ganesh pandals. Furthermore, it will be grow more in future.

Explaining some of the another supporting point in favour of this statement, it is true that National celebration and festival are not waste money, instead they provide vital social, economic and cultural value, while some argue funds should only give in charity trust and donation. In contrast, celebrating makes unity and increase the bonds.

In conclusion, National celebrations like festivals and days organise by many countries is true. I believe that aforesaid mentioned points are strongly supporting my view point.

Word Count: 230

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

festivals: 4

national: 4

believe: 4

money: 4

spend: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt and presents a clear position (agreeing with the statement). However, the development of ideas is limited and not always clear. The supporting examples and explanations lack depth and precision, and there is some repetition. To improve, focus on fully developing each main idea with specific, well-explained examples and ensure that the argument directly addresses the prompt's focus on whether celebrations are a waste of money. Additionally, work on clarifying the logical connection between points and the overall position. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, but the logical flow is often disrupted. The introduction presents a clear opinion, but the body paragraphs lack clear topic sentences and cohesive devices to link ideas smoothly. For example, the transition from the first body paragraph to the second is abrupt. The conclusion merely restates the introduction without summarizing the main points effectively. To improve, use clear topic sentences for each paragraph and employ a range of cohesive devices (e.g., 'furthermore', 'in addition', 'on the other hand') to connect ideas more logically. Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and that the argument progresses coherently.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is limited and often repetitive, with some inappropriate word choices (e.g., 'Flabbergastedly', 'spend currency', 'sculpture' instead of 'Ganesh Chaturthi'). There is an attempt to use less common words, but they are not used accurately or naturally. The essay would benefit from a wider range of vocabulary related to the topic, such as 'commemorate', 'allocate funds', 'cultural significance', and 'social cohesion'. Avoid informal or incorrect phrases and aim for more precise and formal language. Practice using synonyms and collocations to enhance lexical variety. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains numerous grammatical errors that affect clarity and understanding. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'many peoples celebrate... which was organized'), incorrect verb tenses (e.g., 'will discussed', 'it will be grow'), missing articles (e.g., 'spend money on this spend currency'), and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'many individuals like spend money'). Punctuation is also inconsistent. To improve, focus on basic grammar rules, such as subject-verb agreement, correct use of tenses, and proper sentence structure. Practice writing simple, clear sentences before attempting more complex structures. Proofreading carefully can help catch and correct errors.

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Band 4+: In many countries, governments spend a lot of money celebrating national holidays and festivals. However some people think that spending money on theses celebration is. a waste.To ehat extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

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Task Response

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Lexical Resource

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In many countries, governments spend a lot of money celebrating national holidays and festivals. However some people think that spending money on theses celebration is. a waste.To ehat extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

In many countries, governments spend a lot of money celebrating national holidays and festivals. However some people think that spending money on theses celebration is. a waste.To ehat extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

In many countries, governments spend a lot of money celebrating national holidays and festivals. However some people think that spending money on theses celebration is. a waste.To ehat extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

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