Opinion

Band 4+: In some areas of the US, a 'curfew' is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion about this?

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In recent years, there has a growing debate according limited hours for teenager at the night, especially some places in the US. From my point of view I totally agree with this statment, But I will expolre more from others opinion before deciding a proper conclusion.

First of all, youth people should be always pay attention by their parents or guardians because they have not mature yet. Young people luck of ability to make decision by themselves. Hence, this condition makes them in danger when go out at the night without gudie by older people. For instance, many young people hang out with their friends do a bad thing such as drunk and try something negative because they are really curious with someting new and they are easy to influnced with others.

On the other hand, I totally agree with the opinion that said teenagers allow go out side at the night if they accompany by their parents or guadiance because is more safe for them. Mature people can gudie or protect youth when do activites at the night. They can make a order about what can the teenager do and not. For example, if young people want to smoke or try alcohol they can be preventer to avoid that negative activities.

In conclusion, according to explanation above I disagree with teenager free go out side at the night because they are easy to influced by bad things such as, drunk, alcohol, and smoking. But I am strongly support the policy that youths should be accompany by some more older when activity at the night to avoid a bad thing happend.

Word Count: 271

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

night: 6

people: 6

because: 4

teenager: 3

their: 3

young: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear position: the student supports the curfew/supervision policy. However, the development of ideas is limited and repetitive. The main points (lack of maturity and the need for guidance) are presented in both body paragraphs, which prevents the essay from exploring the topic with depth or variety. To improve, try to distinguish your body paragraphs more clearly. For example, one paragraph could focus on the benefits of safety/crime prevention, while the other could focus on the role of parental responsibility or the potential drawbacks of such laws. Additionally, ensure that your conclusion does not contradict your introduction; in the introduction, you say you 'totally agree,' but in the conclusion, you use the phrase 'I disagree with teenager free go out side,' which can be confusing to the reader. Focus on using more varied supporting details to expand your arguments.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay follows a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the progression of ideas is sometimes difficult to follow due to awkward phrasing and repetitive sentence structures. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of cohesive devices (e.g., 'Furthermore', 'Consequently', 'In contrast') and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, central topic sentence that guides the reader through your argument.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is quite limited and often repetitive (e.g., frequent use of 'bad thing', 'young people', and 'at the night'). There are also several spelling errors (e.g., 'expolre', 'gudie', 'guadiance', 'influnced') and incorrect word forms (e.g., 'youth people' instead of 'young people', 'preventer' instead of 'prevented'). Aim to build a broader range of vocabulary related to social issues and youth behavior, and practice using collocations to make your writing sound more natural. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Grammatical errors are frequent and occasionally impede communication. There are significant issues with subject-verb agreement, verb tense, and sentence construction (e.g., 'youth people should be always pay attention', 'teenagers allow go out side'). There is also a lack of control over complex structures. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence structures, particularly the use of passive voice (e.g., 'teenagers should be accompanied') and modal verbs, and work on the correct use of prepositions.

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