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Band 5+: In some countries younger people are neglecting their right to vote. What problems does this cause and what are some of the possible solution?

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In certain nations youth are not giving importance to their right to vote. This can create several problems which involves the needs of young childrens ignored and future policies did not match the future generatios. The most effective solutions would be providing awareness among young generation and encourage them to participate in politics.

Not participating in elections means it is difficult to change the goverment which is essential for some countires. If they do not give vote, politicians will follow the policies of older people result in needs of youth will not adressed such as education and jobs. Then they think thet goverment is not providing any benefits to them and then leave the country. For example, thousand of students immigrating towards europe and North America because they are unhappy with their goverments performance. Another problem is if they dont give votes their will be more policies of older peoples than younger ones which do not match the later generations.

One way to tackle this issue is to inform them about the power of vote. Political education in schools should be improved and by influencers, short videos and university compaigns we can educate the youth how vote works and its importance. Once they know that if they abandon the vote their consequences will be immense then they change their mind and began to take part in votes.

In conclusion, if youth do not take politics seariously the results will be no focus on young childrens needs and it would be solved by promoting awareness among them.

Word Count: 256

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

their: 5

youth: 4

which: 3

needs: 3

young: 3

policies: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt and presents a position. The ideas are relevant but lack clarity and sufficient development. To improve, focus on providing more specific examples and elaborating on the potential solutions. Also, ensure a clearer structure with well-defined paragraphs.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay demonstrates some coherence, but the connections between ideas are not always clear. Paragraphing is present, but could be used more effectively to group related ideas. The essay would benefit from clearer topic sentences and transitions to guide the reader. For example, in the second paragraph, the connection between not voting and government policies favoring older people could be made more explicit. In the third paragraph, provide a clearer link between political education and increased youth participation in voting.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a limited range of vocabulary. There are instances of imprecise word choice (e.g., 'giving importance' instead of 'valuing'). To improve, try to use more varied and specific vocabulary related to politics, civic engagement, and policy. Focus on using synonyms and paraphrasing to express ideas in different ways. For example, instead of repeatedly using 'vote,' consider using 'electoral participation' or 'suffrage'. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains numerous grammatical errors that affect clarity. There are issues with verb tense consistency (e.g., 'did not match'), subject-verb agreement, and article usage. Sentence structure is often simple and lacks complexity. To improve, focus on using a wider range of grammatical structures, including complex sentences and varied verb tenses. Proofread carefully for errors in grammar and punctuation. For example, pay attention to correct use of articles (a, an, the) and ensure that verbs agree with their subjects.

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