Positive And Negative

Band 5+: In the future, artificial intelligence will replace many human jobs. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

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Technology has been advancing throughout the years with the infamous (AI) having to exchange jobs in the future. This essay will state the negatives of the replacement of jobs including unemployment and severe economic inequality.

The loss of employing makes initially with the changes that will occur in the future of. This can create a surge in unemploybility and could be crucial to the middle class as it can effect them financially and would cause them to struggle with the costly payments of housing bills, along with essentials. For instance they could not afford basic human needs as the rate of employment would decline rapidly due to the change of companies using artificial intelligence in the place of humans, which can be a disadvantage to humans in the approaching years respectively.

The total effect of wealth disparity. Moreover as of the usage of technology increases and becomes more common. It can create a huge gap in economic inequality, which can be difficult to overcome as there will be a significant rise in unbalanced class groups causing tension and contrasting, the true differences between each tier group.

In conclusion , this essay strongly agrees to leaving humans to do natural activities disregarding the usage of AI. The main effects is the changing in society as how skilled workers would be jobless and become financially unstable. Along with the idea of the fluctuating economic gaps within the community, illustrating an unbalanced class hierarchy and therefore dealing with the clashes of differences in society groups.

Word Count: 252

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

economic: 3

class: 3

would: 3

humans: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt and presents a position. However, the ideas, while relevant, lack clarity and sufficient development. To improve, focus on providing more specific examples and elaborating on the potential consequences of job displacement due to AI. Also, ensure that your arguments are logically structured and easy to follow.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay's structure is somewhat clear, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas within paragraphs is often disjointed, making it difficult to follow the argument. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs need improvement to enhance coherence. For example, the connection between the initial statement in the second paragraph and the subsequent discussion of unemployment is not immediately clear. Consider using clearer topic sentences and transition words to guide the reader.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a limited range of vocabulary, and some word choices are not entirely appropriate or accurate ('employing' instead of 'employment,' 'unemploybility' instead of 'unemployment'). There are also instances of awkward phrasing that affect clarity. To improve, focus on expanding your vocabulary related to economics, technology, and social issues. Pay attention to using the correct form of words and phrases to convey your intended meaning precisely.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains several grammatical errors, including issues with sentence structure, verb tense, and word order. For example, the sentence 'The loss of employing makes initially with the changes that will occur in the future of' is grammatically incorrect and difficult to understand. There are also issues with punctuation. To improve, focus on reviewing basic grammar rules and practicing sentence construction. Consider using a grammar checker to identify and correct errors, but also take the time to understand the underlying principles.

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