Discussion

Band 5+: Nowadays animal experiments are widely used to develop new medicines and test the safety of other products. Some people argue that these experiments should be banned because it is morallty wrong to cause animals to suffer, while others are in favor of them because of their benefits to humanity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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It is true that nowadays many experiments are being done on animal to check the safety of that product. According to some people it’s morally wrong to hurt animals while others are saying its right for the safety of human beings. This essay will discuss both perspectives before giving my opinion.

On the one hand, there are clear ethical arguments against animal experimentation. Many people believe that experiments should not be done on animals because it’s morally and ethically wrong to give harm to animals for the sake of our own convenience. Experiments should be done from other sources like vitro testing, organ on chip technology, computer stimulation this will help to check the safety of medicine. In fair society equal rights should be given to both living and non-living creatures so it’s morally not good to harm animals. In addition there have been cases where some medicine is beneficial for animals but it effects the life of a human body. Thus, they want that animals testing should be banned because it’s not beneficial for humans and animals.

On the other hand, some people believe that experiment should be done on animals because it is beneficial for humans’ lives. I also believe that it’s right because human life is more precious than non-living creatures. Many lifesaving experiments are also being done and its successful for human life for example in case of malaria, an experiment was done on mice to check its causes and also how immune system fights with it and weather the vaccine is useful or not and it saves the lives of thousands of people. Therefore, I think it’s necessary to check the medicine result on animals before applying it to the humans.

In Conclusion, it would be wrong to ban testing on animals as it has a lot of benefits for humans and I believe that testing should be first done on animals.

Word Count: 317

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

animals: 10

should: 6

experiments: 4

check: 4

people: 4

human: 4

believe: 4

because: 4

testing: 4

safety: 3

morally: 3

wrong: 3

medicine: 3

beneficial: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt, presenting both sides of the argument and offering a clear opinion. The ideas are relevant, but the support for some arguments could be more precise and fully developed. To improve, focus on providing more specific examples and elaborating on the reasoning behind your claims. For instance, when discussing alternative testing methods, provide more detail about how these methods work and their potential benefits. Also, ensure that the connection between your examples and your overall argument is explicitly stated.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing both sides, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas within paragraphs could be improved. Transitions between sentences and ideas sometimes feel abrupt. Consider using more varied cohesive devices to link ideas more smoothly. For example, in the second paragraph, elaborating on the alternative testing methods mentioned would strengthen the argument. In the third paragraph, providing more context or detail about the malaria experiment would enhance its impact.

Lexical Resource

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary, but there's room for improvement in using more precise and sophisticated language. Some phrases are repetitive (e.g., "experiments should be done on animals"). Try to incorporate synonyms and more nuanced vocabulary to express your ideas. For instance, instead of "give harm to animals," you could use "inflict suffering on animals." Also, ensure that the vocabulary used is appropriate for the context and register of an academic essay. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains grammatical errors that affect clarity. There are issues with subject-verb agreement, article usage, and sentence structure. For example, "it effects the life of a human body" should be "it affects the life of a human body." Also, the sentence "In fair society equal rights should be given to both living and non-living creatures" could be phrased more clearly. Focus on improving sentence construction and proofreading carefully for grammatical errors. Varying sentence structures can also enhance the overall quality of your writing.

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