Opinion

Band 5+: some children find some subjects such as mathematics and philosophy too difficult to learn. so some people argue that those subjects should be optional rathan than compulsory. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

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It has been observed that students children doesn’t understand mathematics and philosophy because it’s difficult to study. From my perspective, I believe that studying these subjects are very important to our next generations. This essay will discuss some reasons why children have to learn these difficult subjects.

To begin with, studying mathematics and philosophy for younger children lead to brain development and problems solving. In mathematics they learn the numbers and mathematics equations, and that’s encourage brain’s child to solve problems. Also, in philosophy subject they learn what previous generations were make , and how they were think to succeed in their lives. For example, a study conducted in several European students children showed that children who studied mathematics in school as a compulsory subject developed brain solving problems at a short time better than those who kept it optional to learn.

Furthermore, there are many students love to learn mathematics, and they want to study more about it. Children understand difficult mathematics equations at a short period. As a result, learning difficult subjects, such as mathematics and philosophy will make the next generations are more intelligent and genius. That’s why I agree to studying mathematics and philosophy.

In conclusion, I agree that governments and schools should focus on learning mathematics and philosophy to make it compulsory subjects. Because of its benefits to younger children, such as brain development and problems solving. Also, parents should encourage their children to study in a good environment to help them understand and success in life.

Word Count: 252

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

mathematics: 10

children: 8

philosophy: 5

difficult: 4

study: 4

learn: 4

problems: 4

students: 3

understand: 3

studying: 3

subjects: 3

generations: 3

brain: 3

solving: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt by presenting a clear position (agreeing that mathematics and philosophy should be compulsory). However, the development of ideas lacks precision and depth. The arguments are relevant but could be more fully extended and supported with specific examples or reasoning. There are some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing that affect clarity. To improve, focus on structuring each paragraph around a single clear main idea, provide more detailed examples, and ensure that the conclusion directly reflects the arguments made. Additionally, proofread for grammatical accuracy and word choice.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas is sometimes disrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear connections between sentences. The use of cohesive devices is basic and occasionally repetitive. To improve, work on using a wider range of linking words and phrases to smoothly connect ideas within and between paragraphs. Ensure each paragraph has a clear central topic and that sentences logically follow one another.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, but there is limited range and some inaccuracies. For example, 'problems solving' should be 'problem-solving', and 'brain's child' is awkward. There is some attempt at using less common vocabulary, such as 'compulsory' and 'generations', but overall the lexical choices are simple and sometimes repetitive. To improve, expand your vocabulary by learning synonyms and collocations related to education and child development. Practice using words accurately in context. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. For instance, subject-verb agreement errors ('students children doesn't understand', 'studying these subjects are'), incorrect word forms ('problems solving'), and awkward sentence structures. There is some attempt at complex sentences, but they are often flawed. To improve, focus on mastering basic grammar rules, such as subject-verb agreement and correct use of articles. Practice writing a variety of sentence structures, including compound and complex sentences, and proofread your work to catch errors.

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Band 5+: some children find some subjects such as mathematics and philosophy too difficult to learn. so some people argue that those subjects should be optional rathan than compulsory. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

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some children find some subjects such as mathematics and philosophy too difficult to learn. so some people argue that those subjects should be optional rathan than compulsory. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

some children find some subjects such as mathematics and philosophy too difficult to learn. so some people argue that those subjects should be optional rathan than compulsory. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

some children find some subjects such as mathematics and philosophy too difficult to learn. so some people argue that those subjects should be optional rathan than compulsory. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

some children find some subjects such as mathematics and philosophy too difficult to learn. so some people argue that those subjects should be optional rathan than compulsory. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

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