Discussion

Band 5+: Some feel that it is impossible for a country to be economically progressive and environmentally friendly at the same time. Others disagree with this view. Discuss both points of view and give your opinion.

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Some people believe that economic progress causes harmful for environment, while others think it has a variant to solve this situation at the same time. The government should solve this issue quickly because more people are divided into two opinions. Others think countries can develop economically and protect nature. This essay will discuss both views and give my opinion.

Economic growth might be caused for nature because if a country becomes more developed, it can have harmful on the ecology and environment. Big factories produce more money and jobs, but they also pollute the air and water. Moreover, the economic grows, the more cars, factories and production’s numbers increase too. As a result, air and water quality becomes worse also the environment suffers. For example, transports and industries produce more smoke and they cause harm for air, people and animals. Therefore, it has negative effects on people’s health, cause animals to be born sick and damage plants. Furthermore, trees are cut down to built new roads and buildings. Because of that, it affects negatively for forests and it decreases. But, other people think that the government can solve this issue and developed both economically progressive and environmentally friendly at the same time. If countries use clean energy, they can develop together.

Some developed countries invest in greenhouse technology and recycling systems. In my opinion, it is the best solution solve these problems because modern technologies help countries grow economically without seriously damaging the environment.

In conclusion, countries can be economically successful and environmentally friendly if they use modern technology and environmental policies. I believe each country can still protect nature while developing their ocnomies.

Word Count: 274

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

countries: 5

people: 4

solve: 4

because: 4

economically: 4

environment: 3

think: 3

nature: 3

developed: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses all parts of the prompt and presents a clear position. You have discussed both the potential for economic growth to harm the environment and the possibility of balancing both through technology. However, the development of ideas is somewhat uneven. While the first body paragraph is relatively well-developed, the second body paragraph is quite brief and lacks specific examples or detailed explanation to fully support the argument. To improve, ensure that each viewpoint is given sufficient depth. For instance, when discussing how countries can be both progressive and eco-friendly, you could expand on specific examples like renewable energy sectors creating new jobs or how green regulations can drive innovation. Additionally, focus on improving grammatical precision, particularly regarding word forms (e.g., using 'harmful to' instead of 'harmful for' or 'economic growth' instead of 'economic grows') to ensure your ideas are communicated more clearly.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay follows a basic structure, but the progression of ideas is sometimes disjointed. The introduction is somewhat repetitive and contains several sentences that do not add new information (e.g., stating that people are divided into two opinions). To improve, ensure that each sentence contributes a unique idea to the argument. Use a wider variety of cohesive devices (linking words) beyond 'Moreover', 'Furthermore', and 'But' to create smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs. The transition between the discussion of environmental damage and the solution could be more fluid.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is functional but quite basic and repetitive. There are several instances of incorrect word forms, such as 'causes harmful' instead of 'causes harm' or 'harmful for' instead of 'harm to'. There are also spelling errors like 'ocnomies'. To reach a higher band, try to use more precise academic collocations (e.g., 'environmental degradation' instead of 'harmful on the ecology') and avoid repeating simple words like 'big', 'more', and 'bad'. Aim for a more sophisticated range of synonyms to describe economic and environmental concepts.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Grammatical errors are frequent and occasionally impede the reader's understanding. There are issues with subject-verb agreement, incorrect preposition usage (e.g., 'harm for air' instead of 'harm to the air'), and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'the economic grows'). Sentence structures are often simple or contain errors when attempting complexity. Focus on mastering basic sentence structures first, particularly the correct use of nouns versus adjectives, and practice using complex sentences with subordinating conjunctions (e.g., 'While economic growth often leads to pollution, technological advancements offer a way to mitigate these effects').

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