Discussion

Band 4+: Some people believe that money is the best gift for teenagers, while others disagree. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Nowadays, many people think that giving money to the youth is the best gift but some people think it is the bad option. In my opinion, I agree with it as they can be more dependent and they can understand the money power.

To begin with, giving money to the new generation is much more beneficial as they understand the power of money as they will know how does it work and what they can do with it. Furthermore, they can use it for their future or they can try to save it for later use. Money helps teenagers for grow fast as they get to know more about society.

To Continue with, providing money to youth is legitimate because they can use it in their own way . For example- If we give them money they can buy products for their study like gadgets or stationary according to their use.

In conclusion, Money is a best gift for their children as they can use it according to their usage. However, the parents should keep an eye on the children after giving them money.

Word Count: 184

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

money: 9

their: 6

giving: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt by discussing both views and giving an opinion. However, the ideas presented lack clarity and sufficient development. For improvement, focus on providing more specific examples and elaborating on the reasoning behind your arguments. Also, ensure a clearer structure with well-defined paragraphs, each focusing on a single main idea. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay's organization is somewhat clear, but the transitions between ideas could be smoother. The introduction and conclusion are present, but they lack depth and could be more engaging. Paragraphing is present, but the ideas within each paragraph could be more tightly connected. Consider using more varied cohesive devices to improve the flow of your writing.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and somewhat repetitive. There is limited use of more sophisticated or precise language. To improve, try to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary related to the topic and focus on using synonyms to avoid repetition. Pay attention to the appropriate use of collocations and idiomatic expressions. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including issues with verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure. These errors frequently impede understanding. Focus on improving your understanding of basic grammar rules and sentence construction. Proofread carefully to identify and correct errors.

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