Discussion

Band 4+: Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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There is view that professional doctors and engineers should work in the country that they did train before. Others think that they have their own choice. While the former view has some benefits in some cases, I believe the later one is more significant.

One advantage of working in the country that they trained is the government can take benefit from it. If they work in there, it will impact to countries’ gains or even income. There are many people who wants to make their work in abroad, because of salaries that they get. So, in this situation government make more profit than workers. Therefore some individuals want to keep professionals in their country, not because of money but because of develop the country with such people.

However, despite these advantages, I steel believe that give option to professionals is a better side. Firstly, the people will get a good impact from that, because when the doctors get some inform about some illness and if they solve the problem of that it has some benefits to both sides for government and also for doctor. They will pay enough if the doctors solve the problem which do not have solution. So, with that people have better life. The doctors will learn something from another culture and it also impact to us.

In conclusion, to give freedom for professionals have good sides which they get new ideas or even they will exchange it, then stock in the country that they study.

Word Count: 249

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

country: 5

doctors: 4

because: 4

there: 3

their: 3

government: 3

impact: 3

people: 3

professionals: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt by discussing both views and providing an opinion. However, the ideas presented lack clarity and sufficient development. The arguments are somewhat vague and could benefit from more specific examples and explanations. To improve, focus on providing clearer, more detailed support for your claims and ensuring a more logical flow of ideas. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay lacks clear organization and logical flow. The ideas are not well-connected, and the paragraphing is not effective. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs are weak, making it difficult for the reader to follow the argument. To improve coherence and cohesion, focus on using clear topic sentences, logical connectors, and well-structured paragraphs.

Lexical Resource

The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary, with frequent repetition of simple words and phrases. The use of vocabulary is often inaccurate and inappropriate for the context. To enhance lexical resource, try to use synonyms and a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas more precisely. Focus on learning and using more specific and nuanced vocabulary related to the topic. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and improper use of articles and prepositions. Sentence structure is often awkward and unclear, making it difficult to understand the intended meaning. To improve grammatical range and accuracy, focus on practicing basic grammar rules and sentence structures. Review and correct errors in your writing, and seek feedback from a teacher or tutor.

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