Opinion

Band 6+: Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment."

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In modern times, the issue of punishments for committing crime has become highly controversial. There are those who say that there should a fixed penalty for committing every crime, while others believe that the guy who is involved in that crime should be accountable for his behaviour. In this essay I will discuss both sides of the argument and provide my overall opinion.

Generally speaking, there are people who believe that there should be a permanent list of punishments regarding committing crimes. If legislation regarding punishment is introduced by the government , the amount of participation in crimes will be reduced. For example, If a theif stoles someone’s bike and he got arrested by the police , he will not attempt any kind of crimes in future. The judge will sentence him based on the legislation.

Despite these arguments, there is also a case for the idea that people need to consider the situation in order to find out why the crime has participated and give punishment to the individual. They need to examine the situation and the motivation of the theft in order to find why he attempted the robbery. For instance, theifs often committed crimes because they starve for food. They begged for food every time, but there is always a little possiblilty to get food, as a result, they committed crime.

In conclusion, it must be said that, the issue of punishment regarding crimes has become a complex issue. In my opinion, the situation of the theft or robber should be judged in order to give him a punishment because people often particpate in crimes to fulfill their basic needs.

Word Count: 273

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

there: 6

crimes: 6

crime: 4

should: 4

punishment: 4

issue: 3

committing: 3

people: 3

regarding: 3

situation: 3

order: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt by discussing both views and providing an opinion. However, the ideas presented lack clarity and could be more developed. The examples are somewhat simplistic and could benefit from more detailed explanations. To improve, focus on providing more specific and nuanced arguments, and ensure that your examples are fully developed and clearly support your points.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing both views, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas within paragraphs could be improved. Transitions between sentences and ideas are sometimes abrupt, making it slightly difficult for the reader to follow the argument effortlessly. For example, in the second paragraph, the connection between introducing legislation and reduced crime participation could be more explicitly stated. To improve coherence, ensure each paragraph focuses on a single, clear idea and that sentences logically connect to support that idea. Using cohesive devices like 'furthermore,' 'however,' and 'therefore' more effectively can also enhance the essay's flow.

Lexical Resource

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary, but there's room for improvement in using more precise and sophisticated language. Some word choices are slightly informal (e.g., 'the guy') or repetitive (e.g., 'crime,' 'punishment,' 'participate'). To enhance lexical resource, try to incorporate synonyms and more nuanced vocabulary to express your ideas. For instance, instead of 'the guy who is involved in that crime,' you could say 'the individual who committed the crime.' Also, focus on using collocations and idiomatic expressions appropriately to add depth to your writing. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay exhibits a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but grammatical errors occasionally impede clarity. Common errors include incorrect verb tenses ('stoles' instead of 'stole'), subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward phrasing. For example, 'If legislation regarding punishment is introduced by the government, the amount of participation in crimes will be reduced' could be rephrased for better clarity and grammatical accuracy. To improve grammatical range and accuracy, focus on mastering fundamental grammar rules and practicing a variety of sentence structures. Review your work carefully for errors in verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and article usage.

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Band 6+: Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment."

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Essays On The Same Topic:

Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment.”

Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment.”

Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment.”

Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment.”

Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment.”

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Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that money and appearance are more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Today, many people do not know their neighbors in large cities. What problems does this cause? What can be done about this? Write at least 250 words.

Online education is becoming increasingly popular. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

It is commonly believed that nowadays main factors that affect a child's development are media, pop culture and friends. A different point of view is that family plays the most significant role. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Write at least 250 words.

Check Your Own Essay On This Topic?

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

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Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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