Opinion

Band 4+: Some people feel that the private lives of celebrities should not be openly shared by media. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

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In today’s digital age, media plays an essential role in shaping our perceptions and opinions. Some individuals deemed that the life of famous people should not be shared on media platforms. I strongly agree with this statement and I will discuss my views in the forthcoming paragraphs.

As per my perspective, it is biggest privacy concern as their haters and enemies can follow them as a result its can be dangerous for their life. Additionally, posting everything related to celebrities on the internet can interrupt their personal life, they will not able to enjoy their private events with families and friends. Also, it can be a major cause of stress as sometimes their followers start to judge their personal life from their news on the social

Media.

However, some people think that it is good to share their lives on media as people can see their off stage life and their fans can follow their lifestyle and routines. Moreover, they can be a good role models for the society by sharing their struggles and hard- work through internet.

By the way of conclusion, I would like to state that everyone has a right to keep their personal space so media should not publicized their private moments on internet.

Word Count: 208

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

their: 14

media: 4

people: 3

personal: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt by presenting a clear position on the topic. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited and lacks depth. To improve, consider providing more specific examples or elaborating on the reasons supporting your agreement with the statement. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay is somewhat coherent and cohesive, but there are some issues with transitions between ideas and paragraphs. Work on improving the flow of the essay by using more cohesive devices such as linking words and phrases. Additionally, consider restructuring some sentences for better clarity.

Lexical Resource

There is an attempt to use a range of vocabulary, but some words are used incorrectly or inappropriately. Try to use more precise and accurate vocabulary to convey your ideas effectively. Additionally, aim for more sophisticated and natural language use to enhance lexical resource.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay demonstrates some variety in sentence structures, but there are noticeable grammatical errors throughout. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, and sentence construction. Proofreading for grammar and punctuation will help improve accuracy.

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