Discussion

Band 6+: Some people think secondary school students should study international news as one of their subjectsOther people say this is a waste of valuable school time. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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People hold divergent views regarding whether the integration of the new subject, international news, should be studied by secondary school students, while some individuals argue that this new lesson unnecessarily consumes students’ valuable time.

One common argument in favor of including international news as a subject in secondary schools is that it can enhance students’ awareness of global events and critical thinking skills. Studying international news provides students with knowladge about world conditions, various cultures and global issues. For example, students who follow world news are more likely to participate in informed debates and discussions, both in schools and later in society.

Despite its benefits, some educators point out that international news might take valuable time away from essential academic subjects. Integration of new subjects can negatively influence core subjects and may reduce the time to allocated to mathematics, physics or the mother tongue. For example; students may get distracted by unnecessary lessons, and as a result, they may struggle to manage their existing workload effectively.

In conclusion, while gaining knowladge of international news might take valuable time, schools can introduce it in a restrickted manner. As a result; students can learn about international news while still studying core subjects.

Word Count: 200

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

international: 6

students: 5

subjects: 4

while: 3

valuable: 3

schools: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both views and providing an opinion. The ideas are relevant, but the support lacks some precision. To improve, ensure that examples are clearly linked to the points being made and that the conclusion offers a more decisive stance. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, two body paragraphs discussing opposing views, and a conclusion. The ideas are generally easy to follow. However, the transitions between sentences and ideas could be smoother in some places. For instance, in the third paragraph, the transition from the general point about time being taken away to the example feels a bit abrupt. Consider using more varied cohesive devices to enhance the flow.

Lexical Resource

The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, using words like 'divergent,' 'integration,' 'enhance,' and 'essential.' However, there are a few instances where the word choice could be more precise or natural. For example, 'knowladge' is misspelled and should be 'knowledge,' and 'restrickted' should be 'restricted'. Overall, the vocabulary is adequate, but refining word choices could elevate the writing. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay demonstrates a reasonable command of grammar, with a mix of simple and complex sentences. However, there are some grammatical errors and punctuation issues that need attention. For example, the semicolon usage in the third paragraph is incorrect; it should likely be a comma. Additionally, ensure correct spelling ('knowledge' instead of 'knowladge'). Proofreading carefully for these errors will improve the essay's grammatical accuracy.

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Band 6+: Some people think secondary school students should study international news as one of their subjectsOther people say this is a waste of valuable school time. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Essays On The Same Topic:

Some people think secondary school students should study international news as one of their subjectsOther people say this is a waste of valuable school time. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think secondary school students should study international news as one of their subjectsOther people say this is a waste of valuable school time. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think secondary school students should study international news as one of their subjectsOther people say this is a waste of valuable school time. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think secondary school students should study international news as one of their subjectsOther people say this is a waste of valuable school time. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think secondary school students should study international news as one of their subjectsOther people say this is a waste of valuable school time. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Other Topics:

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Some people believe that criminal behavior has genetic causes. Others believe that it is circumstances that lead people to commit a crime. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Although there is a lot of translation software available, learning a language still could be advantageous. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Check Your Own Essay On This Topic?

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