Discussion

Band 5+: Some people think that government should provide people with free healthcare. Others, however, believe that people should pay for their own healthcare. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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There is extensive debate regarding the implications of governments in providing free healthcare systems. By constract, some individuals advocate charge-based services. I firmly believe that the former perspective should prevail ultimately.

To begin with, the advancement of modern times has enticed governments in rendering healthcare machinery completely free for citizens. Due to this, individuals have undergone enhanced life expectancy and welfare, which help improve social interactions and a sense of belonging to a fair system. This underscores the significance of promoting the former ideology.

On the other hand, charging medical services could present a plethora of benefits. In the first instance, this will increase the overall healthcare profitability, thereby contributing massively to the construction of cutting-edge infrastructures such as emporiums and educational institutions.

To conclude, while the latter philosophy could hugely be a contributory factor in the development of nations, the former should overshadow it to publicize equality amongst people.

Word Count: 150

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

healthcare: 3

former: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both views on healthcare and providing a clear opinion. The ideas are relevant, but the support for these ideas could be more precise and focused. To improve, ensure each point is thoroughly explained with specific examples or reasoning to strengthen the argument. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay is generally well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, the transitions between ideas could be smoother. For example, in the second paragraph, elaborating further on how enhanced life expectancy and welfare improve social interactions would strengthen the argument. In the third paragraph, providing a more direct link between healthcare profitability and the construction of infrastructure would improve coherence. Consider using more varied cohesive devices to enhance the flow of your writing.

Lexical Resource

The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, including words like 'enticed,' 'rendering,' 'welfare,' 'underscores,' 'plethora,' and 'contributory.' However, some phrases, such as 'charge-based services' and 'healthcare machinery,' could be expressed more naturally. While the vocabulary is generally appropriate, refining word choices to sound more idiomatic would elevate the lexical resource.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay exhibits a good command of grammar with only minor errors. The sentence structures are varied and generally accurate. Pay close attention to prepositions and articles, as these can sometimes be problematic. For example, 'implications of governments in providing' could be refined. Overall, the grammatical accuracy is high, contributing to the clarity of the essay.

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Band 5+: Some people think that government should provide people with free healthcare. Others, however, believe that people should pay for their own healthcare. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

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Some people think that government should provide people with free healthcare. Others, however, believe that people should pay for their own healthcare. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that government should provide people with free healthcare. Others, however, believe that people should pay for their own healthcare. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that government should provide people with free healthcare. Others, however, believe that people should pay for their own healthcare. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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