Opinion

Band 4+: Students from poor background such as rural areas often find it difficult to access to university education, so people think universities should make it especially easy for them to study at. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In recent times, education is essatioal part of the humans behaviour. many students are poor background in urban areas and it is difficult to access to higher education, many people believe that academic can make easy them to study at university. I largly disagree with this notion, and the following paragraphs will delineate the primary reasons why this trend is fundamentall detrimental.

The most significant reason is that Univercity adamission is merit based rather then econmics background which means many government lows are the quota based so many students is metally thought education is formality, it is not complesery such as many a student from an urban area it achieves higher grades should not lose a university place simply because another applicant comes from a poorer background. Fuerthermore, Another reason is that it is fundamentlly not clear that means it schooling education is poor and not all types of facality so it is not a prectical expericencs. while village areas students are hard to give academic perfomance compared to the city side students.

On the other hand, Firstlly, many people education think is finacial burden that means for the country side areas many people lower income so a university education is very expencive. it is not afforable for the country side people. For example, many acedemic institudes is very high range of fees. A further reason is that goernments are support for the higher education. This is beacuse policymakers is provide a different types of scholerships such as mysy so it is a beneficial for the studnets.

In conclusion, universities should maintain equal admission standards, while governments support disadvantaged students through improved education and funding.

Word Count: 275

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

education: 8

students: 4

people: 4

background: 3

areas: 3

higher: 3

university: 3

reason: 3

means: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt and presents a position, but the development of ideas is significantly hindered by issues with clarity and coherence. While the writer attempts to argue against preferential treatment based on background and suggests government support as an alternative, the arguments are often difficult to follow due to grammatical errors and imprecise phrasing. To improve, focus on the following: 1. **Clarity of Argument**: Ensure that each paragraph has one clear central idea. For example, in the second paragraph, the connection between merit-based admission and the quality of rural schooling is somewhat muddled. 2. **Logical Development**: Instead of just stating that rural education is poor, explain *how* this relates to the prompt (e.g., if the goal is to make university easier for them, the focus should be on bridging the gap in primary/secondary education first). 3. **Sentence Structure and Grammar**: Work on subject-verb agreement and the use of articles. Many sentences are fragmented or use incorrect word forms (e.g., 'academic can make easy them' instead of 'universities should make it easier for them'), which obscures the intended meaning. 4. **Cohesion**: Use transition words more effectively to show the relationship between your ideas, rather than just listing reasons.

Coherence & Cohesion

The organization of ideas is somewhat logical, but the progression of arguments is frequently interrupted by grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. While you use transition words like 'Furthermore', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion', they do not always connect the ideas smoothly. To improve, focus on ensuring that each sentence flows logically into the next and that your paragraphing clearly separates distinct ideas. Avoid starting sentences with 'it is' or 'that means' too frequently, as this can make the writing feel repetitive and disjointed.

Lexical Resource

There is an attempt to use academic vocabulary (e.g., 'delineate', 'detrimental', 'disadvantaged'), but there are frequent spelling mistakes (e.g., 'essatioal', 'Univercity', 'adamission', 'econmics', 'complesery', 'facality') and incorrect word choices (e.g., 'academic can make easy them'). These errors occasionally make it difficult to understand your intended meaning. I suggest practicing spelling common academic terms and focusing on collocation - learning which words naturally go together - to ensure your vocabulary usage sounds more natural.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains a high frequency of grammatical errors that impact readability. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'many students is', 'policymakers is'), incorrect sentence structures, and issues with word order (e.g., 'make easy them'). There is also a lack of control over complex sentence structures. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, particularly subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles and prepositions. Working on sentence variety - combining short sentences into complex ones using subordinating conjunctions - will also help increase your score.

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