Opinion

Band 4+: The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use.

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The provided pie charts illustrate both household energy use and household greenhouse gas emissions, in Australia, respectively. Both charts consist of 6 aspects: Heating, water heating, cooling, lighting, refrigeration, and other appliances.

Overall, in household energy use, heating and water heating hold their dominance among others, while both cooling and lighting share the below. On the other hand, in household green gas emissions, water heating being the top and cooling being the least one to produce gas emission.

In the first pie chart, Heating has the highest energy usage with 42%, followingly, water heating and other appliances being second and third with the usage of 30% and 15%, respectively. However, refrigeration, lighting and cooling have the least usage among the others; with the usage of 7%, 4% and 2%.

in the second pie chart, however, water heating and the other appliances are supreme with 32% and 28% of gas emission. Secondly, refrigeration and heating has a fair amount of emission with 14% to 15%. Lastly, cooling and lighting being the least ones to produce gas emissions with the percentage of 3% and 8%, separately.

Word Count: 184

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

heating: 9

water: 5

cooling: 5

household: 4

lighting: 4

other: 4

being: 4

usage: 4

energy: 3

emissions: 3

refrigeration: 3

least: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay provides a good overview of the information presented in the charts. However, it could be improved by providing more specific analysis and comparisons between the two charts. For example, the essay could discuss the reasons why water heating is the highest contributor to greenhouse gas emissions, or why cooling is the lowest contributor. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay is generally well-organized, but there are some issues with sentence structure and flow. The essay could be improved by using more cohesive devices, such as transition words and phrases, to connect ideas and create a smoother reading experience.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a good range of vocabulary, but there are some instances of repetition and imprecise language. The essay could be improved by using more sophisticated and varied vocabulary. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains a number of grammatical errors, which affect the clarity and fluency of the writing. The essay could be improved by paying more attention to grammar and punctuation.

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