Discussion

Band 5+: The world of work is changing rapidly. Working conditions today are not the same as before and people no longer rely on taking one job for life. Discuss the possible cause for these changes and give your suggestions on how people should prepare for work in the future

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There are some people who think that the world of work is changing rapidly as times past by and therefore employees cannot depend their lives on having the same job or working conditions for the rest of their working age. In this following essay, i will try to expain why is this the case alongside with my opinion on how people could prepare themself for the future of working world and finally make the conclusion of the topic.

The rapid development of the working world is not a secret anymore, and it is changing throughout time alongside with technology. Speaking of technology, artificial intellegence is now developing by the fastest they’ve ever been. A century ago, no one would believe that a computer could draw you a commercial poster or wrote a formal letter for you. This shows how the artificial intellegence could one day take over human’s jobs, leaving employees with no choice other than searching for another job or working conditions to live their lifes.

The easiest way to overcome the fear of this phenomenon is by simply prepare themself and be aware of the development of technology. Learn how to use this technology to improve work and polish their weaknesses, this is the best way which people could do.

The rapid change in the world of working is mainly influenced by technology, which is also developing quite fast, making employees cannot depend their lifes on one job or working conditions. But by learning how this technology works, i believe people could turn this into a benefit for their work.

Word Count: 262

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

working: 7

their: 6

technology: 6

could: 5

people: 4

world: 4

employees: 3

conditions: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt by discussing the causes of rapid change in the world of work and suggesting ways to prepare for it. A position is presented, but the ideas lack clarity and depth. The essay could benefit from more specific examples and a more detailed explanation of how technology influences the job market. To improve, focus on providing more concrete evidence and elaborating on the suggested solutions.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay demonstrates some organization, but the ideas are not always clearly linked. The introduction attempts to outline the essay's structure, but it is somewhat clumsy. Paragraphing is present, but the transitions between ideas could be smoother. The conclusion restates the main points but lacks depth. To improve coherence, focus on using clearer transitions between sentences and paragraphs, and ensure each paragraph has a clear focus and purpose.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is relatively basic and lacks precision. There are instances of informal language ('the fastest they've ever been') and some awkward phrasing. To enhance lexical resource, try to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary related to the topic of work and technology. Focus on using more precise and formal language to express your ideas. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains several grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses ('times past by'), subject-verb agreement issues ('employees cannot depend their lives'), and awkward sentence structures. There are also issues with punctuation. To improve grammatical accuracy, focus on reviewing basic grammar rules, particularly verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure. Proofreading carefully for errors is essential.

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