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Band 6+: These days, too many people maintain their health by relying on doctors and medicine, rather than by following a healthy lifestyle.To what extent do you agree with this statement .give reasons for your anwser and relavant examples from you own knowledge and experience

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Nowadays, people are more aware of being healthy by eating nutritious food and exercising on a regular basis. However, some people argued that people depend too much on medicine and doctors rather than maintain a healthy habit. From my perspective, I agree with this way of thinking due to some reasons that are explained in this essay.

First and foremost, everybody also knows a problem. It would be better for almost everyone to follow a healthy lifestyle. People who fail to eat sensibly said that they do not have enough time to cook a nutritious meal that contains numerous ingredients. For instance, fast food is a top choice for individuals with busy schedules. Additionally, being busy and working long hours affects them in a negative way by giving up time to go to the gym. Another reason is that some individuals can’t afford it. A healthy meal requires a lot of complex and expensive components, such as organic food. For a long time, they will lead to a sedentary lifestyle.

Some researchers stated that eating a large amount of foods that include fat will lead to some medical problems, such as diabetes, cardiovascular disease, and high blood pressure. If people make these issues, they must follow the doctor’s directions and the drugs to treat their condition.

In conclusion, the modern lifestyle corresponds with busy schedules. They do not have enough time and money to follow a healthy lifestyle, so they often rely on doctors and medicine to maintain it.

Word Count: 249

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

people: 5

healthy: 5

follow: 3

lifestyle: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt and presents a position. However, the ideas lack clarity and could be more developed. To improve, provide more specific examples and elaborate on the reasons why people rely on doctors and medicine. Also, ensure a clearer connection between the reasons and your overall argument. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay demonstrates a generally clear progression of ideas, but the connections between some sentences and paragraphs could be strengthened. For example, the transition between the first and second paragraphs could be smoother. Consider using more explicit linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your argument. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single, well-defined idea to improve coherence.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a range of vocabulary appropriate to the topic, but there are instances where the word choice could be more precise. For example, 'everybody also knows a problem' is not idiomatic. Try to incorporate more sophisticated vocabulary and avoid overly simplistic phrasing. Pay attention to collocations and ensure that words are used in their correct context. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are noticeable grammatical errors that affect clarity. For instance, there are issues with subject-verb agreement and article usage. Review basic grammar rules and focus on improving sentence structure to enhance accuracy. Pay close attention to punctuation to avoid ambiguity.

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Band 6+: These days, too many people maintain their health by relying on doctors and medicine, rather than by following a healthy lifestyle.To what extent do you agree with this statement .give reasons for your anwser and relavant examples from you own knowledge and experience

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Essays On The Same Topic:

These days, too many people maintain their health by relying on doctors and medicine, rather than by following a healthy lifestyle.To what extent do you agree with this statement .give reasons for your anwser and relavant examples from you own knowledge and experience

These days, too many people maintain their health by relying on doctors and medicine, rather than by following a healthy lifestyle.To what extent do you agree with this statement .give reasons for your anwser and relavant examples from you own knowledge and experience

These days, too many people maintain their health by relying on doctors and medicine, rather than by following a healthy lifestyle.To what extent do you agree with this statement .give reasons for your anwser and relavant examples from you own knowledge and experience

These days, too many people maintain their health by relying on doctors and medicine, rather than by following a healthy lifestyle.To what extent do you agree with this statement .give reasons for your anwser and relavant examples from you own knowledge and experience

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In many countries schools have severe problems with student behaviour, what do you think are causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Coherence & Cohesion

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