Advantage And Disadvantage

Band 5+: Many people today prefer to communicate through social media instead of face-to-face interaction. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

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The use of social media is replacing face to face interaction within some humans in society. In my view , using social media can not only cause attachment to the internet and weaken relationships but also offer saving and convenience.

There are several drawbacks to social media replacing face to face interaction. Firstly becoming attached internet. This means that numerous individuals opt for online conversation and this tendency leads to internet addiction . The other negative aspect can be weakening relationships since online conversations often lack real emotions, body language and personal connection.

In spite of these negative effects , however, social media replacing face to face interaction has brought important benefits as well. One such benefit of saving time is that if one person wants to speak with other people, it is not necessary to meet them. Another advantage is being convenient, due to it allowing people to get information quickly and connect with others from different places.

In conclusion, although social media can cause weakened relationships and internet addiction, yet I believe that this trend can offer time-saving and convenience.

Word Count: 182

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

social: 5

media: 5

internet: 4

replacing: 3

interaction: 3

relationships: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear position. The main ideas are relevant, but there could be more focus and precision in supporting them. To improve, provide more specific examples and develop the arguments more fully. Also, ensure a consistent level of formality throughout the essay. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay demonstrates an adequate attempt to organize information and ideas with some coherence. However, the progression of ideas could be smoother. The introduction and conclusion are present but somewhat basic. Consider using more varied linking words and phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs. For example, in the third paragraph, you could use phrases like 'On the other hand' or 'Conversely' to introduce the opposing viewpoint more effectively.

Lexical Resource

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary, but there are instances of imprecise word choice. For example, 'attachment to the internet' could be rephrased for better clarity. To improve, focus on using more precise and varied vocabulary related to the topic. Explore synonyms and collocations to express your ideas more accurately.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but grammatical errors are noticeable and sometimes impede understanding. For example, there are issues with article usage ('the internet'), preposition choice ('within some humans'), and sentence structure. To improve, focus on reviewing basic grammar rules and practicing sentence construction. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, correct tense usage, and accurate punctuation.

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