Letter

Band 5+: You work at home and have a problem with a piece of equipment that you use for your job. Write a letter to the shop or company which supplied the equipment. In your letter. Describe the problem with the equipment Explain how this problem is affecting your work Say what you want the shop or company to do

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Dear Sir or Madam

My name is Yoga, and I am writing to express my concern regarding my recent purchase on your store yesterday. I just bought a new keyboard with type; sn24371 for my job equipment, and it was does not working when I plug in to my computer. It really can not to typing at all.

In addition, I really need that to end up my work tomorrow, it is really affecting my profesionality to my office. More over, that keyboard is product which is came from a big and famous company. I do not know, why thid product can be sell and passed from quality checking.

In conclusion, I really appreciate if you could give an solution for this problem. I have the purchase bill, and I hope the solutions is give me a new ones or return my money. Thankyou for your attention, and I am looking forward to the reply.

Yours faithfully.

Yoga

Word Count: 158

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

really: 4

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter adequately addresses the task by describing the problem, explaining its impact on work, and stating the desired action. There are some minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing that could be improved. For example, 'it was does not working' should be 'it was not working'. Also, consider elaborating slightly more on the impact on your work to strengthen that point. Overall, the letter is clear and fulfills the requirements of the task.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter is generally understandable, but the organization could be improved. Consider dedicating a separate paragraph to each of the points mentioned in the task instructions (describing the problem, explaining the impact on work, and stating the desired action). Using clearer transitions between ideas would also enhance the flow.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, but there's room for improvement. Try to use more precise and varied language to describe the problem and its impact. For example, instead of 'does not working,' you could say 'malfunctioning' or 'not functioning'. Instead of 'affecting my profesionality,' consider 'affecting my professional reputation' or 'hindering my ability to meet deadlines'.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There are several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'it was does not working' should be 'it was not working' or 'it does not work'). Also, be careful with prepositions and articles. Proofread carefully to catch these errors.

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You need to write a letter to the manager of a local community centre. You recently attended a workshop there, but you found that the information provided was not as helpful as you had hoped. You want to explain why it wasn't useful and suggest what could be improved for future workshops

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