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Band 6+: the average amount of time per day spent on two common leisure activities of different age groups in New Zealand

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The image shows two bar graphs with vertical axes labeled "Average minutes" ranging from 0 to 90. The top graph for "Reading for pleasure" depicts age groups: 14-24 averaging about 20 minutes, 25-32 averaging about 30 minutes, 33-42 averaging about 40 minutes, 43-55 averaging about 60 minutes, and 56-65+ averaging about 80 minutes. The bottom graph for "Listening to music" illustrates age groups: 14-24 averaging about 80 minutes, 25-32 averaging about 60 minutes, 33-42 averaging about 50 minutes, 43-55 averaging about 50 minutes, and 56-65+ averaging about 70 minutes.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The given bar charts illustrate data of time that people spend on two different leisure activities among various age groups in New Zealand.

Overview, reading takes people more time rather than listening to music, especially in the young. Moreover, over 56 people is the highest group of people spending time on reading, while it is 14-24 on listening to music.

In term of reading, the older people are, the more time they spend on this activity. People who from 14-24 spend only 20 minutes per day on average to reading for leisure, while this figure for 25-32 group is around 35 minutes per day. Moreover, people from 33 to 42 spend about three-quaters everyday to read, far less than 70 minutes per day of the oldest group, which also the highest figure for this category.

Move on to listening to music, the youngest group, in contrast, spend highest time on this activity, at 80 minutes per day. This is followed by over 56 group and 25-32 group, respectively 75 minutes and 1 hour per day. Additionally, listening to music takes people from 43 to 55 exactly 50 minutes per day, which is same as time they spend on reading for leisure.

Word Count: 201

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

people: 8

spend: 6

group: 6

minutes: 6

reading: 5

listening: 4

leisure: 3

music: 3

highest: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report adequately addresses the task, presenting the main trends and key data points from the bar charts. The organization is clear, with a general overview followed by detailed paragraphs for each activity. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data reported (e.g., "three-quarters everyday to read" and "over 56 group and 25-32 group, respectively 75 minutes and 1 hour per day"). To improve, ensure all data cited is accurate and consider using more precise language when describing the data.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an adequate arrangement of information, generally presenting a clear overview and following with more detailed descriptions. However, the flow between sentences and paragraphs could be improved to enhance coherence. Transitions between ideas sometimes feel abrupt, and the connection between certain statements could be made more explicit. For instance, in the overview, the contrast between reading and listening habits could be sharpened. In the body paragraphs, ensure each sentence logically follows from the previous one, creating a smoother narrative. Consider using cohesive devices more effectively to guide the reader through the information.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey the information, but there's room for improvement in terms of precision and sophistication. While the vocabulary is generally appropriate, some phrases are a bit generic (e.g., "takes people more time"). Try to incorporate more specific and varied language to describe trends and data. For example, instead of "the highest group of people spending time," consider "the age group that dedicates the most time." Expanding your lexical range will make the report more engaging and demonstrate a better command of the English language. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report exhibits a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but grammatical errors and phrasing issues impact the overall clarity. There are instances of incorrect preposition usage ("In term of reading"), awkward phrasing ("People who from 14-24"), and inaccuracies in comparative structures. While the meaning is generally understandable, these errors detract from the report's professionalism. Focus on refining your grammatical accuracy by reviewing basic grammar rules and proofreading carefully. Pay attention to sentence structure, verb tense consistency, and correct use of articles and prepositions. Addressing these issues will significantly improve the report's grammatical quality.

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