Bar Chart

Band 5+: the bar chart illustrates the percentage of business in the UK who had a social media presence from 2012 to 2016

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The image contains a bar chart titled 'Percentage of Businesses with a Social Media Presence' with data from 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015, and 2016. For Small Businesses, the percentages were approximately 28%, 30%, 35%, 30%, and 49% respectively. For Medium Businesses, the values were approximately 31%, 48%, 49%, 30%, and 52% for the same years. For Large Businesses, the corresponding percentages were approximately 78%, 78%, 77%, 52%, and 79%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The data represents the dynamic of social media activity for different business sizes: small, medium and large types. The statistics show the UK trend over a 4-year period in diapason from 2012 to 2016.

Overall, all groups demonstrate fluctuations in the reporting period. Small and medium types have a comparable level of presence (approximately from 30% to 50%), whereas large shows an essential difference and higher level of media performance (at least nearly 50%, the maximum approximately 80%).

All categories reach it’s peak in 2016: there is an increase of 20% for small type, more than 20% for a medium one, and nearly 30% for large category. Besides, all businesses also have a dramatical drop in 2015. For small business there is not a significant fall (only 5%), while medium and large decreased on 20% and nearly 30% respectively.

Small and large one gradually increase from 2012 to 2014, while in contrast large business has hardly noticeable drop in this period

Word Count: 161

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

large: 6

small: 4

medium: 4

business: 3

period: 3

nearly: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the requirements of the task by identifying the main trends and making relevant comparisons between the business sizes. The overview is clear, and the key features, such as the peaks in 2016 and the significant drops in 2015, are highlighted. To improve, ensure that the data comparisons are more precise and avoid minor grammatical errors (e.g., 'it's peak' instead of 'its peak' and 'dramatical' instead of 'dramatic'). Additionally, some phrasing is slightly awkward (e.g., 'in diapason'), so focusing on more natural academic collocations would enhance the quality of the response.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report follows a logical structure with an introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. However, the progression of ideas is sometimes hindered by awkward phrasing and imprecise linking. Some sentences feel disconnected, and the use of cohesive devices is somewhat repetitive or used incorrectly (e.g., 'Besides' used to introduce a contrasting trend). To improve, focus on using a wider variety of transition signals and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, central topic sentence that guides the reader through the comparisons.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary shows an attempt to use sophisticated terms (e.g., 'fluctuations', 'comparable', 'dramatical'), but there are several instances of incorrect word choices and awkward collocations. For example, 'in diapason' is used incorrectly in this context, and 'media performance' is not an appropriate term for describing social media presence. Additionally, 'small and large one' is grammatically incorrect when referring to categories. Aim to use more precise academic vocabulary and ensure that the words chosen fit the context of data description (e.g., using 'proportion' or 'percentage' instead of 'performance').

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There is a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but grammatical errors are frequent and occasionally impede clarity. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'large shows'), incorrect pronoun usage ('reach it's peak'), and preposition errors ('decreased on 20%'). There are also issues with article usage and noun number (e.g., 'small and large one'). To improve, practice the use of comparative structures and ensure that singular/plural nouns are consistently matched with their corresponding verbs and pronouns.

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Band 5+: the bar chart illustrates the percentage of business in the UK who had a social media presence from 2012 to 2016

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Lexical Resource

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the bar chart illustrates the percentage of business in the UK who had a social media presence from 2012 to 2016

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