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Band 5+: The table below gives information about the percentage of workforce employed in six industries in Australia between 1989 and 2009. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

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The image shows a table comparing industry percentages between 1989 and 2009: Manufacturing 15% to 9.8%; Retail 11.8% to 10.1%; Health care 9.6% to 11.3%; Construction 7.6% to 8.3%; Education 6.8% to 7.5%; Tourism 5.5% to 7.3%.

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The table provides information on the percentage of workers are hired in six industries in Australia during 1989 and 2009.

Overall, while most of the factories given witnessed an upward trend, the percentage of workers in retail and manufacturing industries showed a decline over the period.

The two types of industries: manufacturing and retail industries exhibited differing patterns of change. At the beginning, workforce in manufacturing factory accounted for 15 %. These Figures dropped markedly next two decades for almost 7 %. Similarly, retail industry which showed 11.8% employee base in 1989, experienced small decrease and accounted for 10.1% in 2009

The remaining factories-healrh care, construction, education and tourism showed almost the same rise. Health care industry sustained 9.6% workforce in 1989. The proportions increased and reached 11.3% by the end. Similarly, construction factory accounted for 7,6 % workforce until it grew to 8,3%. Meanwhile education and tourism industries were having for former 6.8% and latter 5.5%. In 20 years the proportions rose and made up 7.5% and 7.3% with 0.2% difference

Word Count: 172

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

industries: 4

retail: 3

manufacturing: 3

showed: 3

workforce: 3

accounted: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report adequately addresses the task by summarizing the information presented in the table. The overview is clear, and the main trends are identified. The report could be improved by providing more specific data and avoiding minor inaccuracies. Also, avoid using the word 'factory' when referring to 'industries'.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates some organization, but the flow of information is not always smooth. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be improved to enhance coherence. For instance, the shift from the overall trend to specific industries feels abrupt. Paragraphing is present but could be more effectively used to group related information and ideas. Consider using more cohesive devices to link ideas and create a more logical progression.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is somewhat limited and occasionally inaccurate ('factories' instead of 'industries'). There's a need for a wider range of vocabulary to describe trends and data more precisely. For example, instead of repeatedly using 'showed,' try words like 'experienced,' 'witnessed,' or 'registered.' Focus on using more precise and varied language to enhance the clarity and impact of your report.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward phrasing. For example, 'workers are hired' should be 'workers employed,' and 'Figures dropped markedly next two decades for almost 7 %' needs restructuring. Pay close attention to sentence structure, verb tense consistency, and correct use of articles and prepositions. Proofreading carefully and focusing on grammatical accuracy will significantly improve the clarity and credibility of your writing.

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Band 5+: The table below gives information about the percentage of workforce employed in six industries in Australia between 1989 and 2009. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

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Coherence & Cohesion

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Answers On The Same Topic:

The table below gives information about the percentage of workforce employed in six industries in Australia between 1989 and 2009. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

The table below gives information about the percentage of workforce employed in six industries in Australia between 1989 and 2009. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

The table below gives information about the percentage of workforce employed in six industries in Australia between 1989 and 2009. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

The table below gives information about the percentage of workforce employed in six industries in Australia between 1989 and 2009. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

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